New Beginnings
by Axce
Summary: Felix goes to Mississippi where he will spend his last year of high school. (Writer's note: I'll be updating this every few days/week!)
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

Chapter 1

New beginnings were never easy, Felix knew that. He was waiting on the bus that would take him to the airport, where he would take a flight to America. At first his parents insisted on bringing him to the airport by car, but Felix wanted some time alone before stepping on the plane. He waited by the bus station for about 15 minutes, overthinking his decision. It had all happened so fast, 2 months ago he got the chance to go to America for his last year of high school, and here he was, all packed up. But he wasn't ready. How could he be ready? He didn't know anyone there, and he wasn't the most sociable person. 'It'll be fine', he thought to himself.

Shortly afterwards he heard nearing engines and he looked up to see that the bus to the airport had arrived. He grabbed his suitcase and stepped inside, luckily the bus was pretty much empty. There was an elderly man in the front, and a mother with her kids in the middle. Felix sat down at the back of the bus and put his luggage on the seat beside him. He sighed and got his earphones from his backpack, the drive to the airport was about 20 minutes. He listened to 'Lorena', one of his favourite tracks by one of his favourite artists: Sorrow. He closed his eyes and drifted away on the music, which made him feel better. Suddenly, he felt something touch his leg. Felix opened his eyes and looked up to see the mother of the two children standing over him. He had apparently fallen asleep.

'We're at the airport young man, looking at that suitcase I suspected that this was your destination', she said friendly.

Felix looked outside, they had indeed arrived.

'Thanks for waking me up Miss, this is indeed where I have to get out', Felix responded.

'Don't worry about it'. The kind woman smiled and walked away, her children staring at Felix while they followed her back to their seats.

Felix got out of the bus into the cold air. 'at least it'll be warmer in America', he thought to himself. The bus drove off behind him as he walked through the mechanical doors of the airport of Goteborg, probably one of the ugliest buildings he had ever seen. It was shaped like a box, had too many windows and looked unclean. Felix hated it, he was glad he didn't fly often. He made it past all the security, checked in his bags and 10 minutes later he took a seat at the gateway for his flight. He felt tired and almost fell asleep, when he got a call from his mother.

 _'_ _Hey honey! Is everything alright?'_

'Yeah mom, I'm fine. Just waiting till I can board the flight', Felix said.

' _that's great, are you sure you have everything with you? You don't mind you had to go by bus on your own did you?'_

Felix rolled his eyes and laughed. 'It's all good mom, it was my own choice. And yes I have everything, for the 100th time'.

 _'_ _well alrighty then! I'm sure going to miss you Felix…'_

'I'm going to miss you too mom, and dad as well. But I'll call every other day at least!' Felix said.

 _'_ _I'm glad ,it's going to be weird to not have you around but we'll manage!'_

Felix noticed that people around him were getting up, apparently the flight was ready to be boarded.

'Oh, boarding has started, gotta go mom. Love you!'

 _'_ _I love you too dear, we'll speak later!'_

Felix showed his ticket to the plane's stewardess and walked over to his seat. Luckily the seat beside him was free, so he had all the space he wanted. He looked around and saw that the plane was about half-full, or half empty, depending on your mind-set. For Felix it was definitely half-full, he was suddenly very excited about the coming year, but he had no idea why. He felt like someone was looking at him, and he turned his head. He looked right into the eyes of a girl sitting 3 rows in front of him. She quickly looked at something else when Felix saw her. She looked about the same age as him, and there was no denying that she was beautiful. She was skinny, but not skin over bone, and she had long brown hair that fell over her shoulders. Felix snapped out of it, realising that he had been staring at her for almost 30 seconds. He never had much luck with girls, and this one was out of his league anyway.

The plane started riding and not much later it was soaring through the sky. Felix turned on his music again and looked out the window. They were above the clouds already, the sun was going down and it was beautiful to see. It was late however, and Felix fell asleep quickly. 7 hours later, he was suddenly awoken by loud music in his ears. He jumped and almost hit his head. With his heart beating fast he concluded that he must have laid on the volume button of his phone or something. He then realised again where he was, and excitement made him jump again. He looked out the window but was disappointed when he saw that they were still above the clouds. Nevertheless, they were almost there, almost in America. He stretched his arms and legs and went to the bathroom, passing the girl from earlier, who was sleeping. In the bathroom, he threw some water in his face to wake him up and used the toilet. He was on his way to his seat when he noticed the girl had woken up. Felix looked at her and she looked back, so he swiftly diverted his look and walked on. He was blushing heavily when he sat down once again.

'damn it Felix, why do you have to be so awkward all the time', he thought angrily. 'just walk up to her and ask her name and start a conversation, for fuck's sake!'

A sudden feeling of determination came over him. 'What can I lose?', he thought. 'We will never see each other after this day anyway!'

So he did it. He walked up to her and asked her name.

'My name is Gaby, what's yours?' she said with a smile, picking up her bag from the seat next to her, offering Felix the seat. He sat down and smiled at her thankfully. He went for the obvious question:

'I'm Felix, nice to meet you. So, where are you headed?'

'Back to the homeland', she said with an accent that Felix didn't recognise. 'Canada.', she said when she saw his confused face. 'I was on holiday in Sweden on my own for the first time, I must say it's a very stunning country! Where are you going?', Gaby asked.

'Ah I see, Canada! I always wanted to visit there someday. I'm heading to America myself, I'm spending my last year of high school there'.

'That sounds an awful lot cooler than Canada', Gaby said laughing

'Haha it depends, I don't really know anyone there so I must say I'm a bit nervous for it.', Felix said

'Trust me, it's great, you'll be just fine', Gaby said and Felix felt his cheeks getting red. He looked for a way to change the subject and noticed that she had her headphones connected to her phone.

'What were you listening to?', he asked

'Oh, nothing really, you probably don't know it', Gaby said.

'You'd be surprised'.

'I was listening to this Slovakian band called Fallgrapp, they make very hipstery electronic pop music', Gaby said with a hint of embarrassment in her voice

'Are you kidding me? I love Fallgrapp, I discovered them recently and I've had their album Rieka on repeat for ever!', Felix shouted. People around them throw mean looks at him but he doesn't care. This girl actually listens to similar music as he listens to?

Gaby seemed equally surprised as Felix. 'Wow, I've never met someone who likes them as much as me, that's so weird! What is your favourite song?'

'That has to be Origami, or maybe Vlasy', Felix said

'Yeah those are amazing, I think my favourite is Ice Cliff though, I love the shifting rhythms in that'

Felix continued his conversation with Gaby for another 2 hours, when he was told to return to his seats, as they were getting ready for landing. He felt like he made a new friend already, but then he remembered that Gaby's destination was Canada, not America. He felt a little sad about this, but his excitement to finally set foot in America canceled that out quickly. When the plane had landed, all passengers got off and Felix looked for Gaby in the mass of people. He quickly spotted her and ran over to her, as she was already walking to her next gate.

'Hey, Gaby! Wait!'

'Hmm? What's up?' Gaby said as she turned around. She smiled when she saw Felix and put down her bag. 'Sorry Felix, I'm really in a hurry for my next flight to Vancouver…'

'I know, I know', Felix said. 'I just wanted to ask you for your number, in case you wanted to talk about hipstery electronic music sometimes'.

Gaby laughed. 'Yeah of course! I'd love to!'

Felix gave her his phone and she adds her number. They say goodbye to each other and Felix watched her walk away. He felt happy, inconsiderate of the people around him. Back in Sweden he didn't have a lot of friends, not good friends at least. Not friends that he could talk to about anything, who knew his deepest secrets. Felix simply didn't have a friend like that. And for some reason he thought Gaby might not have a friend like that either.

He picked up his luggage at the airport and walked into the capital city of the state Missisippi, Jackson. He was amazed by its beauty. Old buildings, large squares and trees on the side of the roads. 'This is way better than Goteborg', Felix said to himself. He made sure he had some American money and then got on a bus to a suburb of Jackson, where he had a room at the campus of the school. It wasn't a long drive as Jackson wasn't a very big city, but it was pleasant. Felix felt a bit strange due to the time difference, but mostly he felt excited. He was still nervous, that's true, but mostly excited.


	2. Chapter 2: Campus

Chapter 2

Felix woke up and checked his phone. '7 am?!' He thought to himself. 'why am I awake?'. He tried to go back to sleep but did not succeed, to his frustration. 'freaking jetlag', he thought. He sat up and looked around his room. It was reasonably small, but cosy, about 14 square meters, with a desk, closet, chair, bed and even a separate space with a shower. After he arrived yesterday, the principal of the school had kindly welcomed him and showed him his room and class schedule. He told Felix that if there was anything he needed, he just had to come by his office. Felix gratefully thanked the principal for his kindness and unpacked all of his stuff. He went back to Jackson for dinner, the city was even more beautiful in the evening. He had a meal at McDonald's, somewhere he usually never ate, but he was too tired and wanted to go sleep as soon as possible.

'Today is Sunday', he thought. 'So there is no school. I should probably explore the campus a bit'. He took a shower, got in some comfortable weekend clothing and walked out of his room. He stood in a long hallway, with about a dozen of doors leading to student's rooms. He walked out of the building, it was early in the morning so there was nobody around. He strolled around aimlessly for a bit, spotting the sports field and lecture room. He remembered the structure of the building, so he wouldn't get lost tomorrow.

'raawwrrrr'. Felix' stomach growled aggressively. He hadn't realised he was so hungry. He quickly found the cafeteria, which was surprisingly opened. At his high school in Sweden, all the students went home in the afternoon and in the weekends, so this was very new to him. He had never lived on a school campus before, but he liked it already. The freedom felt great, he could just go wherever he wanted! He got the classic eggs and bacon for breakfast. While he was eating, he browsed through youtube and twitter for a bit, when he suddenly got a text from someone.

' _hey Felix, it's me, Gaby. How is America treating you so far?'_

Felix quickly texted her back: ' _it's as you said, amazing. Jackson is a beautiful city, and the weather is just fantastic! Have you arrived in Canada already?'_

He finished his meal and returned his plate and bowl to the counter when he got another text.

' _Good :) Yeah I got back home, too bad it's freezing here…'_

Felix smiled and started typing. _'Sorry haha, didn't mean to make you jealous! Do you have Skype maybe? These texts are kind of costly for me :P'_

He arrived back at his room as he got another text.

' _Haha don't sweat it. Yeah I have Skype: GabyStevens. I'll be on in a minute'_

Felix sat down at his desk and turned on his laptop. He managed to get a hold of the Wi-Fi password of the block his room was in, so he opened up Skype and added Gaby to his contacts. A while later she came online and Felix called her. He suddenly hoped he didn't come across as some creepy nerd or something.

'Heeey Felix!', he heard Gaby say through his headphones.

'Oh.. Hi Gaby. I hope you don't mind me calling', Felix said carefully

'Huh? No of course not! So what are you up to today?'

Felix smiled and let go of his fear. He never really had the chance to be himself, but for some reason he felt like that was the only thing to do when he was talking to Gaby.

'Oh, not much, I just had the cultural classic breakfast of bacon and eggs actually', he said.

'Hahaha oh man, you won't keep that up for the rest of the year. Heck, not even for the rest of the week. It becomes disgusting after a while', Gaby said with her Canadian accent.

'Ohoho, we'll see about that Gaby, we'll see about that', Felix said laughing, because he knew she was right.

The next 6 hours are spent on skype with Gaby. Felix only got lunch in the meantime. They talked about music and exchanged some of their favourite artists, they talked about video games and later on even the deep topics were introduced.

'So, what do you want to do when you're older?' Gaby asked.

'hmm… tough one', Felix said as he thought about what he wanted. 'I'm not sure, but most of all I want to do something with video games. Maybe get a job at Ubisoft or Naughty Dog, I dunno'.

'You should totally pursue that, I bet you'd be great at it.', Gaby said.

'Thanks Gaby, I appreciate that'

'Are your parents okay with that though? Video games are not really of their generation haha'

'My parents? My Parents!', Felix suddenly yelled out. 'Sorry Gaby, I gotta go, I promised I would call my mom as soon as I arrived, and I totally forgot!'

Gaby bursted out laughing. 'Hahaha good job Felix! Alright, talk later!' She hung up.

Felix reached for his phone and dialled his moms number. 'She must be so worried by now', he thought nervously. His mom picked up after a while and confirmed his presumption.

' _Felix? Are you alright? Why are you calling so late?'_

Felix was confused for a few seconds but remembered the time difference. 'Hey mom, sorry, It's 4pm here you see. I'm sorry I'm so late with my call, I know I said I would call you straight away, but I forgot.'

' _That's okay honey, I'm just glad you're alright. So, how is it there?'_

'I'm loving it, it's very beautiful around here and so far I've only met nice people. I actually met this Canadian girl on the plane and we've been on Skype all afternoon, she's really great.'

' _Ohhh a girl? What's her name? When will we get to see her?',_ Felix' mom said teasingly.

Felix facepalmed but laughed. 'Not like that mom, seriously… Her name is Gaby. It's really weird but I feel like she is the friend I always needed. We have the same type of humour, music taste and she is just plain awesome and all that'

' _Well I'm very glad to hear that dear! So, are you all set for school?'_

'Yep, I've got all my books and honestly I'm quite excited for it, and a bit nervous.' Felix said to his mom over the phone.

'But I'm ready for it', he then thought to himself. 'This going to be my year'.


	3. Chapter 3: First Day of School

Chapter 3

'Fuuuuck, I'm going to be late', Felix thought as he rushed out of his bed to put on his clothes. He had forgotten to set an alarm for his first class, and had only 15 minutes before it started. But he would make it, he often overslept back in Goteborg as well, but he always made in on time somehow. He heard voices from outside his room. 'Must be the other students getting ready', he thought. A shiver of excitement went through his body as he put his books in his bag and walked out his room. Most of the students didn't pay any attention to him, they were either looking on their phone or talking with each other. The few ones that did notice him looked a bit confused because they didn't recognise him, but Felix had counted on that. He checked his schedule and saw that his first class was history class, not his favourite subject but it would have to do. He grabbed an apple from the cafeteria on the way to the classroom, there was not enough time to get breakfast. When he walked into the classroom it was still empty, the teacher excluded. He walked up to Felix and shook his hand.

'Hi, you must be Felix!', he said kindly. 'My name is Mr Henderson. You're right on time, just take a seat wherever you want.'

'Thank you, sir', Felix replied and chose a seat in the back of the class. He preferred sitting in the back as it was less close to the teacher and it was more peaceful there. He always sat in the back of the class in his old school as well, often alone, but he didn't mind that. As he unpacked his books, more students came in through the door of the classroom. Mr Henderson shook all their hands kindly and introduced himself, even to the ones he knew from previous years. Some of the students looked at Felix with hints of confusion or wonder, but they didn't pay any significant attention to him.

5 minutes passed and the classroom was full, except for the seat next to Felix. He was happy he wouldn't be forced to talk to anyone, he wanted to get the know the class from the side-lines first.

'Alright then, welcome everyone to your last year of history class', Mr Henderson spoke loudly and the class went quiet. 'I presume you're all incredibly sad that summer break is over, but this year will fly by in no time, trust me. Before we start though, let me introduce to you a new student from Swe-'

Mr Henderson was suddenly cut off by the opening of the classroom door. A student of about the same height as Felix walked in, with messy dark brown hair and a scruffy beard of the same colour. He looked out of breath as he stood in the door opening, wearing simple jeans and a T-shirt.

'Kenneth Morrison', Mr Henderson chuckled. 'You certainly haven't changed over the summer break, have you? It's your first class of the year and you're already late!'

'I'm sorry Mr Henderson, I overslept. It won't happen again, I promise.', the student said.

'Oh but it will.', Mr Henderson said as he laughed. Some of the students laughed too. 'But I'll spare you for now Kenneth, just take a seat over there.' He pointed at the seat next to Felix.

'Oh great', Felix thought slightly annoyed. 'There goes my peace and solitude. I bet he is one of the popular students around here too with dozens of girls wanting to take him on a date.' He looked at Kenneth while he walked over. He was well built with wide shoulders and deep brown eyes. 'He actually looks okay from up close, maybe he is alright', Felix thought to himself and was embarrassed over his earlier thoughts. He decided that he would try to not judge people instantaneously.

Kenneth sat next to him a bit awkwardly and put down his backpack.

'Now that this interruption is out of the way', Mr Henderson said and he glanced at Kenneth, 'I can continue what I was saying. This year we have a student from Sweden in our class, so let's all pretend that we know what we're doing so he can put a good word in for us when he goes back home next year', he joked. 'Tell us a bit about yourself Felix', he said and looked over to the back of the class. Felix stood up and looked at all the faces staring at him.

'Uh.. I'm Felix, Hi everyone. I'm 17 years old and I'm from Goteborg in Sweden', He spoke and sat down again. He saw some students whispering while glancing at him occasionally. 'Well that was shit', he thought to himself. Suddenly Kenneth held his hand in front of Felix, inviting him to shake it.

'Hey Felix, nice to meet you. I'm Kenneth, but just call me Ken', he said with a warm southern voice.

'Hi Ken, nice to meet you too', Felix said and shook Ken's hand.

'So, this year of history is going to be mostly revising from the past 2 years, which gives us plenty of time for other fun activities like watching movies and such', Mr Henderson continued. 'Also, in two weeks we're going on an excursion to the Civil War Interpretive Centre, which you should be looking forward to'. A female student raised her hand.

'Sir, when will we have our first exam?'

'That won't be for another 2 months Michelle, relax', Mr. Henderson chuckled. 'But I'm glad you brought up the topic.'

Mr Henderson continued talking the rest of the class, making lots of jokes and telling stories of his own holiday. It was a fun class, Felix was happy they didn't do anything history-related at all. The bell rang and all the students left the classroom. The hallways were crowded, and Felix got his schedule out to see where he had to go for his next class. Physics it was, something he enjoyed much more than history. The class went by fast, Felix sat alone in the back of the class, alone this time. He had always enjoyed physics, he was so fascinated by all the formulas and laws that explained pretty much everything that happened in daily life. He had played with the thought of choosing to study Technical Physics in Stockholm often enough, but wasn't sure about it. The bell rang again after another 50 minutes, and Felix checked his schedule to find out that he had a 30 minute break next.

'Good', he thought. 'Finally time to get some proper food in my belly'.

He walked through the halls to the cafeteria, where a few dozen students were in a line to get food. He joined the line and got chicken soup with a ham sandwich and a bottle of water. He looked around and spotted an empty table in one of the corners of the cafeteria, so he sat down and started eating. From the corner of his eye he saw that someone was walking towards him, he looked up and saw Kenneth Morrison holding a tray with his food on it.

'Hey… uh… do you mind if I sit here?', Ken asked with that deep, warm voice again.

Felix almost choked on his chicken soup but managed to respond. 'Not at all, go ahead'.

Ken looked at him thankfully and sat down at the opposite side of the table. 'Thanks'.

'Why isn't he with his friends? He must have lots.', Felix thought to himself, mildly confused. They didn't say anything to each other for a good five minutes, but for Felix it had felt like hours. 'Why am I always so socially awkward around new people?', he wondered.

He was happy when Ken finally started a conversation.

'So, you're from Sweden huh? What made you decide to come here?'

'Well, Sweden is pretty boring when you spend enough time there, trust me. I won this competition at school and the prize was a chance to spend my last year on this high school.' Felix said. 'And I went for it.'

'I understand. What do you think of Mississippi so far?', Ken asked

'I'm loving it thus far. I feel so free, no parents around or anyone else to stop me from doing what I want. Jackson is a beautiful city as well, and the people around here seem very nice.'

'I'm glad you think so', Ken said with a wide smile. 'yeah the people around here are pretty okay, I got lucky this morning with Mr. Henderson though. He is a bit more strict usually, but he was in a good mood today'.

Felix lauged. 'I overslept too this morning, didn't even have time to get breakfast haha'. They both laughed. The bell rang to announce the end of the 30 minute break, and Felix checked his schedule.

'What do you have next?', Ken asked.

'Chemistry. And English class after that. You?'

'Economics and then English too', Ken answered. 'I can uh… save a seat for you, if you want?'

'If it's not too much trouble, sure.', Felix said. 'I'll see you there then!'

'Seeya!'

Felix and Ken went separate ways and Felix quickly found the chemistry classroom. Chemistry was apparently not a very popular subject, as half of the seats were empty when the teacher closed the door to start the lesson. Felix spent most of the time doodling in his notebook, occasionally making some notes. He never had much trouble with chemistry, it all seemed very logical to him.

The rest of the day went by faster than Felix had thought. He spent English and later Geography sitting next to Ken, not talking much, but there was no awkwardness either. Ken seemed like a really chill guy, and Felix was happy he had put aside his prejudice. He had dinner in the cafeteria alone, skyped some more with Gaby in the evening and went to sleep, already excited for the day to come.


	4. Chapter 4: The Party

Chapter 4

Felix' first week of school went by smoothly. He got to know some other people in his classes, like Michelle, Ryan and some others, but he mostly spent time with Ken. He had grown fond of the southern student, they got along very well. He had found out that Ken had always been friends with older students, but they had all graduated so he had the same problem as Felix, he didn't know many people.

It was Saturday morning when Felix was awoken by a text message from Ken.

' _Hey Felix, my friend Brad from last year is having a party tonight. Wanna go?'_ it read.

Felix wasn't sure. He never really liked going to parties and he didn't want to look like an intruder. Although he didn't want to disappoint Ken either. He concluded he had to think about it a while longer.

' _Morning Ken. I'm not sure yet, still got a lot of homework… Will let you know later!_ '

Felix took a shower and got dressed, when he received another text.

' _that's alright!'_ Ken had texted back.

Felix was happy Ken didn't push him, so he felt a little better about it. He had slept very long, so it was almost noon when he finished breakfast. He strolled through the halls of the school for a bit, when the principal suddenly walked up to him.

'Hi Felix, I just wanted to ask if you enjoyed your first week here!', he said.

'I'm having a great time, thanks Sir', Felix replied.

'Well I won't hold you up any longer, you were probably planning to start on your homework this afternoon', the principal said and winked.

Felix turned a little red. 'Ha… yeah… I was just heading back to my room for that', he said.

The principal laughed loudly and walked away. Felix looked at him with a mixture of confusion and amusement. 'What a strange man', he thought. He continued walking and was about to enter his room again, when he heard someone call his name.

'Felix!'

He looked behind him and he saw Michelle and Ryan. He smiled. 'Hey!'

'We were just working on our chemistry homework', Ryan starts. 'But we can't figure out how these exercises work, could you help us?', Michelle finished.

'Yeah sure, I still have to do it anyway, so I might as well help you guys', Felix said.

'Great! We can go over to Ryan's room, he has the biggest one', Michelle said and poked teasingly at Ryan. 'Being the son of the school's most generous donator has its privileges', Ryan said when he saw Felix' face.

Felix got his books from his room and followed Michelle and Ryan to Ryan's room, which was as Michelle said, undoubtedly the biggest. Ryan had a king-sized bed, a wide TV and a huge desk, with an expensive looking computer under it. Felix couldn't help his jealousy.

They spent most of the afternoon doing their homework together. Felix had never worked in such a great environment. He helped both Michelle and Ryan with chemistry, while they helped him with English and Geography.

'We should do this more often', Felix suggested. 'We make a pretty good team!'

Michelle and Ryan both agreed and they decided to gather every Wednesday and Saturday to help each other with homework.

'So, Felix, are you doing anything tonight?', Ryan asked while he opened his mathematics notebook.

'Well, Kenneth invited me to his friend Brad's party, but I'm not sure if I want to go yet', Felix replied. 'I don't want to break into his friend circle just like that, you know?'.

'I wouldn't worry about it, who knows it'll be fun', Ryan said.

'Yeah, Kenneth probably spoke about it with Brad before he asked you anyway!', Michelle backed him up. 'Besides, I've heard Brad's parties are always a blast. I was invited to one last year and I had the time of my life! I think at least, I didn't remember much the next day… Little too much alcohol'

They all laughed loudly. 'Yeah you're probably right. I'll just go then, got nothing to lose anyway!', Felix said.

'Yeah, except your memory as you heard from Michelle', Ryan said and chuckled.

Felix got his phone from his pocket to text Ken.

' _Hey Ken, if the offer still stands then I'd love to go to that party!'_

After a few minutes he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

' _Sweeeet! I'll pick you up at half past 8! Make sure to wear something sexy ;)'_

Felix laughed to himself and checked the time: 6am

'Hey guys, how about we get some dinner at the cafeteria?', Felix proposed.

'Good idea, I'm starving actually', Michelle said and Ryan simply nodded.

They walked to the cafeteria together - Felix was still amazed by the fact that it was still opened for students even though it was Saturday – and they ordered some pizza to take back to Ryan's room. They watched some crappy sitcom on TV while they ate, making fun of the terrible actors and the even worse special effects. Around 8 o'clock Felix said goodbye to Michelle and Ryan, thanking them for a great day, and went back to his room. He took another shower and checked his wardrobe for fitting clothes for a party. He went for black jeans with a white T-shirt and a blue and grey button-up over it. He even put some gel in his hair, usually he didn't bother to.

A while later there was a knock on the door and Felix opened up to see Ken. Over the week he had grown quite the stubble, which he had trimmed a bit so it looked very neat. 'I'm not gonna lie', Felix thought. 'He looks good.'

'Woah, look at you! Even got the ol' hairgel out I see!', Ken said teasingly.

'Haha shutup', Felix said and laughed. 'you said I had to look nice'.

'And you do. Come on, let's get going.'

They walked out the building and got into Ken's red car.

It was not more than a 10 minute drive. Ken told Felix a bit about Brad.

'Brad's a great guy, trust me.', Ken said. 'When I first met him I didn't think he'd be much into parties, but I couldn't have been more wrong.'

'But don't worry', he quickly added when he saw Felix looking a bit anxious. 'It's not that crazy either. Nothing like the stereotypical high school parties you see in movies', he said. Felix wasn't completely persuaded but he couldn't turn back now. They arrived at what must be Brad's house, and got out the car.

Ken rang the doorbell and a tall fellow that looked a bit older than him opened. He had long hair and Felix immediately thought he must be into heavy rock music, for some reason.

'Ken, glad you could make it bro!', he said and hugged Ken. 'And this must be Felix, huh?', he said and pointed at Felix.

'Yeah that's Felix, he is from Sweden and is spending this year at our school'.

The tall guy put on a welcoming smile and shook Felix' hand. 'Welcome Felix, you're definitely the first Swede to attend one of my parties. I'm Brad, nice to meet you bro.'

'First time for everything right?' Felix said and he followed Ken and Brad inside. There was music playing – sounded like dubstep or electro to Felix – and there were people chatting on the couch and in the living room. All in all it looked just like Ken described: Great but not too crazy. Before he knew it Brad handed him a beer. Felix knew that he wasn't great with alcohol, but he took the beer as he didn't want to come off as rude.

They walked into the living room and Ken was intensely greeted by 3 guys sitting around the table.

They all stood up and gave him a hug. 'They must be really good friends', Felix thought and he couldn't help feeling out of place. The 3 dudes then walked over to him and all shook his hand, saying stuff like 'Nice to meet you!' and even 'Welcome to 'Murica!'. Felix quickly remembered their names: 'Brad's the long-haired one, Jack the slightly fatter one, Sam the one with the glasses and Mark is well… the drunkest one'.

They all sat around the table and played some cards. Felix sat next to Ken and listened to him catching up with his friends about school, video games and all sorts of other stuff. As he drank some more beers Felix became more sociable, occasionally making some sharp comments that cracked all the guys up. His sense of humour always became his strength when he was a bit drunk.

More and more people came in and the music was turned up, but Felix, Ken and the guys just remained at the table playing cards. Brad wasn't there much as he had to keep an eye on the other guests. It was almost 2 am when Sam decided to bring Mark home, who had become so drunk that he could barely stand.

'Sure you don't need any help?', Ken offered.

'Nah, It'll be fine', Sam shouted over the music as he guided Mark from the living room. 'It was great catching up though buddy, seeya!'

Slowly more people left and in the end it was just Brad, Ken, Felix, Jack and some girl who Felix didn't know. She had been flirting heavily with Jack for 15 minutes when Brad finally said 'oh come on you two, get a room'. Jack said goodbye to the three remaining people in the house and he left together with the girl.

'I bet 10 bucks he'll just end up bringing her home', Brad chuckled.

'Haha, you're probably right. Well, I think it's about time we go too, still gotta bring this guy back to campus', Ken said while pointing at Felix.

Felix looked up disorientated, he felt comfortably warm and dizzy inside. He had drunk a little more than he had initially planned to.

'Good luck with that bro, he could crash here too if that would make things easier' Brad said.

'I appreciate the offer Brad, but it's okay, I'll manage', Ken said as he got his and Felix' coats.

'I'm more worried about him than about you, bro', Brad said laughing.

'There's no need for worries, my friends', Felix said as he put on his coat and pulled himself up using Ken's shoulder. He thanked Brad for inviting him and followed Ken to the car as best as he could, everything around him was turning.

In the car he rested his head against Ken's shoulder, closing his eyes.

'uhmm… are you okay there Felix?', Ken asked with an amused voice.

'Fine than more, my dear Kenneth', he replied, not noticing he mixed up the words. Felix also didn't notice Ken suddenly getting nervous, as he drove off to bring Felix back to the campus. Ken hadn't drunk that much, a couple of beers but he was still alert enough to drive safely. Felix felt comfortable against Ken's shoulder and had almost fallen asleep when they arrived at the school. They got out of the car together and Felix opened the door to his room.

'Hey… Felix', he heard Ken say behind him. He turned around facing Ken.

'I am… uhm… really glad you joined us tonight.', Ken said looking at the ground.

Felix wasn't sure why Ken was acting so strange all of the sudden, but he walked over to him and put a hand on Ken's shoulder.

'I had a superfun time Ken, I'm really glad you *hic* invited me', he said. Ken looked up at him, and opened his mouth to say something. Felix waited a moment but Ken closed his mouth again. 'what's up with him?', Felix thought confused.

'Well, I'm off then', he said. 'I'm gonna have such a hangover tomorrow haha', he spoke as he turned around and opened the door.

'Felix, wait…'

Felix turned around towards Ken again and his heart jumped when he suddenly felt Ken pressing his lips against his own. It only lasted a spit second but he could feel Ken's beard scratching his skin. He pushed Ken away and stumbled backwards, his heart racing.

'Ken, what the fuck?!', Felix shouted. He had immediately sobered up and looked at Ken waiting for a response.

Ken looked shocked and stuttered 'I… I just thought that… I didn't mean to…' but he couldn't finish a full sentence. Instead he just mumbled 'Sorry' and he walked back to his car and drove off.

Felix stood there for another 30 seconds, watching Ken's car disappear. He had never been so confused his entire life. He went into his room and lied on his bed for another hour before falling into a restless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5: Overthinking

Felix woke up, feeling worse than ever. His throat was dry, he had a pulsing headache and he was sore all over his body from sleeping uncomfortably.

'Geez, I really had too much last night…', he thought shamefully to himself. 'The party was a blast though, and Ken's friends were really nice…'. Then the memory of what happened last night struck him. Ken had… kissed him, or at least he had tried to. His discomfort made place for confusion.

'Why on earth did he do that?', Felix thought out loud. 'I mean he definitely isn't gay… is he?', Felix wondered but then again he only knew Ken for a week, so it wasn't impossible. He just didn't strike Felix as homosexual.

'But then again, why did he kiss me? He knows that I'm straight, right?', Felix said to himself out loud but he realises that him and Ken hadn't really talked about girls before, or guys for that matter. He suddenly felt incredibly sad. 'Poor Ken, he must be going through hell right now. I wonder if anyone else knows.' He decided to text Ken, he needed to be there for his friend.

'Hey Ken. I feel like we should talk about what happened last night. Can we meet up somewhere? :)'

He went back to bed and fell asleep for another few hours, when he woke up his hangover had fortunately settled down, he was just thirsty. To Felix' disappointment Ken hadn't texted him back yet, but it had only been a couple of hours so he got dressed and made his way to the cafeteria, where he saw Ryan and Michelle sitting around some sort of blueprint. He bought a bowl of soup and sat down beside them.

'Morning', Felix said. 'What are you two up to?'

'Good morning Felix!', Michelle responded when she saw Felix. 'We're working on our art project, cool huh?'

'Looks complicated', Felix said. 'Forgive me but, what is it supposed to be?'

'We're making a blueprint of the human body, to show that people are nothing more than buildings, where all rooms have separate functions', Ryan said. 'Are you alright? You don't look too good, if you don't mind me saying that'.

Felix chuckled. 'Haha no you're right, I look like shit. I had a bit much too drink last night at Brad's party. It was a lot of fun though, I'm glad I went but…'

The conversation fell quiet for a moment.

'But… what?', Ryan asked

'I'm not sure if I can tell you guys, sorry. It's kind of personal. I'm sorry for bringing it up…', Felix said and looked at the curious faces of both Michelle and Ryan.

Michelle smiled. 'That's alright Felix, you don't have to talk about it'. Felix mouthed a thank you to her and finished his soup. He continued watching Ryan and Michelle work for a good half hour, every now and then checking his phone, but there was sadly still nothing from Ken. He was starting to get a little worried. He texted Gaby instead, if there was someone he could talk to about this it was her.

 _'_ _Hey Gaby. Have you got time for some Skype? I need to talk about something.'_

It didn't take long before he got a text back.

' _Sure Felix, anytime :)'_

He wished Ryan and Michelle good luck with their project, and promised them he'd tell them about his secret later if he could, he didn't want to exclude them like that. Once back in his room he opened his laptop and checked his phone one more time. Still nothing from Ken. Gaby called him on skype so he picked up.

'Hey Felix. That text sounded pretty serious, what's up?', she said.

'Well, I've had a really crazy experience yesterday evening…', he began. He told Gaby about how he got to know Ken and how the rest of the week went by, not giving any hints yet as to what happened the night before.

'Yeah, yeah, I see. Get to the point now will you?', Gaby said laughing.

'Uh… well, last night, after the party, Ken kissed me.' The call went quiet for a while. 'Like, full on the lips you know, not even on the cheek. He really… uh… went for it', Felix spoke, not sure how to explain it.

'Oh… huh. That's… odd', Gaby said, obviously surprised. 'So… did you like it?', she asked.

'No of course I didn't!', Felix shouted. 'I mean, he is a dude! And I'm a dude as well!'

'I was just asking, calm down Felix', Gaby replied indignantly. 'There is nothing wrong with liking other men, you're not one of those freaking homophobes are you?'

'No… sorry, of course I'm not homophobic', Felix said, realising how insensitive he had sounded.

'Well that's good at least', Gaby said, calmer now. 'What happened afterwards?'

'Well, I remember pushing him away and yelling something like "what the hell", but he just stood there mumbling before driving off'.

'Geez, poor guy ', Gaby said softly. 'What are you gonna do now?'

'I texted him this morning saying I wanted to talk to him, but he hasn't texted me back yet, I'm a little worried', Felix confessed.

'He's obviously super embarrassed right now, I think he just needs some time but he will come through eventually I think. When will you see him again?', Gaby asked.

'Tomorrow in history class', Felix said.

'Well just don't force him to talk about it straight away, wait a few hours at least before you start talking about it', Gaby advised him. 'Oh shit, sorry Felix, I gotta run, my mom needs help with dinner. Let me know how it goes with Ken tomorrow!'

'No worries Gaby, I'm glad you had some time at least. Talk later!', Felix said and he ended the call.

He checked his phone one more time, but still nothing from Ken. He sighed and got his books to do some homework. He put on some music to get his mind of things, Gaby had provided him with an excellent album by Geode which he'd had on repeat for the past few days. When he was finally finished a few hours later, he decided to invite Ryan and Michelle for some dinner in Jackson. They both agreed and an hour later they got on the bus to Jackson. Still no text from Ken.

They decided to go to a Mexican restaurant which Ryan had recommended. Felix tried to take his mind off Ken but couldn't quite let go of his worries. He hoped Ken wasn't doing too bad…

'Hey, did you guys even finish that art project you were working on this afternoon?', Felix asked.

'Oh yes we did', Michelle said proudly. 'We're pretty sure the teacher is going to love it, she really likes art with a meaning behind it, so we should get a good grade'.

'And if not I'll just stop my dad from donating to the school', Ryan said with a sneaky smile.

They all laughed.

'So… I have to ask…', Felix began. 'Are you two a couple? I always see you two together, so I couldn't help wondering', he said eventually.

Ryan and Michelle burst out laughing. 'Oh no, another one', Ryan said to Michelle wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. 'To answer your question, Felix: no, we're not a couple. We apparently give off that vibe though, you're definitely not the first to ask the question. We're best friends, but that's all.'

Felix blushed a bit. 'Haha, I understand'

They enjoyed an amazing dinner at the restaurant, strolled through Jackson aimlessly for a bit, before returning to the campus around midnight. Felix said goodnight to Michelle and Ryan and went to his room. He had accidently left his phone there, and he was hoping Ken would have sent him a text while he was away, but there was nothing. Felix sighed and crawled into his bed and thought about what Gaby had said. He was still a bit ashamed of his reaction when Gaby asked if he liked what had happened between him and Ken. He hadn't even thought about his own reaction much, he realised now. At the time he was just shocked that Ken kissed him, but now that he really thought about it he wasn't sure if he could have answered Gaby's question anyway. He had been drunk, he knew that, but he knew he hadn't disliked the feeling of Ken's lips against his. He was just caught off guard, that was it. Felix was confused, he didn't know that to think. He had never questioned his heterosexuality, so why did thinking about his kiss with Ken not make him feel uncomfortable? 'What the heck is going on with me?', Felix thought as he set his alarm for the next day and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6: Ridgeland

~~IMPORTANT NOTE: I will be going on holiday tomorrow, so the next chapter will go up about 2/3 weeks from now!~~

The next morning, Felix walked into the history classroom 3 minutes before class. Mr Henderson greeted him, Felix nodded and sat down at his seat in the back. He was tired, he had slept for a good 8 hours but he was constantly yawning for some reason he didn't understand. He was nervous, too. He'd see Ken for the first time since the party today, and he wasn't sure what to say or do. He remembered Gaby's advice and decided to just act like he normally would, and cut the subject later.

'So, let's open our books at page 56', Mr. Henderson said as he closed the door. Felix looked up surprised, class had started and Ken hadn't arrived yet.

'Sir?', Felix began. 'Do you know where Ken is?'

Mr. Henderson noticed the empty seat beside Felix and sighed. 'Probably late again… He never learns does he?', he asked rhetorically.

'Yeah… probably…', Felix said to himself. He waited for Ken to walk in through the door for the rest of the class, but it didn't happen, to Felix's disappointment.

Ken was also absent during English class, and Felix just felt sadder and sadder. He was having lunch alone in the cafeteria when Michelle sat beside him.

'Felix, what's up? You look a little… uh… down', she said to him.

'Oh, it's nothing Michelle, but I appreciate your concern', he said and continued eating. But Michelle kept looking at him, and Felix could tell she was truly worrying for Felix.

'You can tell me Felix, I won't speak to anyone about it, I swear', she said to him.

'Not even to Ryan?', Felix asked.

'Not even to Ryan', she confirmed. Felix went quiet, not knowing where to start.

'It's Ken', he simply said. 'When he brought me back to campus after Brad's party, he kissed me… I kinda reacted like an asshole at that time, but he really caught me off guard. I've tried to contact him but he doesn't answer his texts, nor does he pick up his phone when I call him. I'm worried about him, you know?'

Michelle looked at him, shocked. 'Wait… Ken kissed you? He must have had a lot to drink then… ha…'

'That's the thing', Felix said while he moved a little closer to Michelle, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop. 'He was pretty much sober'.

Michelle's shock now made place for disbelief. 'Are you sure, Felix? Didn't you imagine it maybe, you did get pretty drunk yourself right? I mean, Ken is pretty much the last person I'd think would be into guys'.

'That was my thought exactly', Felix said. 'But I'm sure it happened. And I can't get it off my mind, I just need to talk about it with him. I figured today would be the right time but he's not at school. And I've got no clue where he lives'.

'Well…', Michelle began but Felix saw that she hesitated. 'What?', he insisted.

'I do know where he lives. I mean, not from the top of my head. But I can find out'.

Felix looked at her confused. 'What do you mean?', he said.

'Okay Felix, you must promise me you won't tell anyone about this', Michelle said mysteriously to Felix as she looked around nervously.

'I won't, promise', Felix said, still not having a clue what Michelle was going on about.

'I can hack into the school's website. Find all data on the staff and students, like telephone numbers, addresses and even bank account numbers.', she said. 'But seriously, don't tell anyone, I'm pretty sure I can get kicked out of school if a teacher finds out'.

'I won't tell a soul', Felix said. 'When do you think you can get it for me?'

'Would Wednesday be okay? We're going to do homework then together anyway so we might as well do it then', Michelle suggested.

Felix bit his lip. He would have liked to seek out Ken tomorrow, but he decided to give him one more day. 'Yeah, good idea. Thanks Michelle, I really appreciate it.'

'No sweat Felix', Michelle said and smiled. The bell rang to announce the end of the break, and Felix said goodbye to Michelle and walked to his next class. He felt a little better, at least he had a plan now.

Ken still didn't show his face on Tuesday and not on Wednesday either, for which Felix had prepared himself. Usually he liked sitting alone in class, but he missed Ken's presence. However, he was looking forward to meeting Michelle and Ryan the coming afternoon for "homework", and felt somewhat excited about breaking the rules. He met up with them in Ryan's room and he also told him about the incident with Ken. Ryan didn't seem too surprised by Ken's behaviour, but then again Ryan wasn't the most extravagant person so it was often hard to tell what he was thinking.

'Hmm… just gotta rewrite some code here and… BAM! We're inside!', Michelle said proudly. 'What is Ken's last name?'

'Morrison', Felix said. He got a scrap of paper to write the address on.

'Alright. It says here that he lives on Azure Road 18 in Ridgeland. That's about 9 miles from here.'

'Azure Road 18, got it', Felix said as he wrote it down. 'Thanks Michelle, I owe you one.'

'It's all good Felix', Michelle said.

'So, when are you going over there?', Ryan asked.

'Tonight. I just want this to be good between us, you know', Felix said. 'I'll just hop on a bus to Ridgeland. But not after we do our homework of course, should we start with maths?'

Ryan and Michelle agreed and they opened their books. They managed to finish all of their homework in 2 hours and then went to the cafeteria for some dinner. They ate back in Ryan's room and watched some more crappy sitcoms, it had become some sort of a tradition for the three of them.

It was almost 8 and Felix's bus was leaving in 15 minutes. He said goodbye to Ryan and Michelle and grabbed his coat from his room. He was getting quite nervous. What if Ken didn't want him to visit? He had almost decided to not get on the bus but he did it anyway, he had to sort this out.

It was a nice drive through some parts of Jackson Felix hadn't seen yet, and some of the nature around the city. 10 minutes later they arrived in Ridgeland, Mississippi and Felix got out the bus. He suddenly had a déjà vu from 10 days ago, when he stepped out the bus in Goteborg to get on the plane to America. That all seemed like it had happened ages ago. Ridgeland was a small town with a pleasant atmosphere and it didn't take Felix long to find the street he was looking for, Azure Road. His heart started beating faster, although he wasn't sure why, he just wanted to talk to Ken. He walked up to the front door of number 18, the curtains were closed but he saw light shining through, so at least there was someone home.

He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. After a while, a middle aged lady that Felix thought must be Ken's mother opened the door. She looked at him curiously.

'Good evening. Can I help you?', she asked.

'Yeah… uhm… does Kenneth Morrison live here?', Felix asked nervously.

'He certainly does', the woman said and smiled. 'Unfortunately my son has been a little ill the last few days. Are you a friend of his from school?'

'Yeah, I am. My name is Felix, it's nice to meet you Mrs Morrison', Felix said.

'Nice to meet you Felix', she said with a warm smile that reminded Felix of Ken's smile and she shook Felix' hand. 'An unusual name, you are not from here are you?'

'No, I'm from Sweden in Europe. I came to America for my last year of high school', Felix confirmed.

'That's lovely, I hope you'll enjoy your time here', Mrs Morrison said. 'Well I won't hold you up any longer, Kenneth is upstairs, first door on the left'.

Felix thanked her and walked up the stairs. His heart was still beating and he couldn't get his thoughts in order. He stood still in front of Ken's door and knocked on the door twice.

'Who is it?', He heard Ken's voice from the other side.

'Hey Ken, It's me… Felix', Felix said carefully. There was a moment of silence.

'Go away', he then heard Ken say. Felix couldn't quite tell if Ken was angry but he didn't give in.

'No, Ken. I'm not leaving', he said. More silence. 'I am coming in now', Felix said and he opened the door slowly. Ken's room was messy, just as Felix had expected. There were dirty clothes scattered around the floor and his desk was a complete mayhem of papers and books. Ken was laying on his side on the bed, facing away from Felix. He didn't say anything when Felix walked in.

Felix closed the door and looked at Ken.

'So, overslept again huh?', Felix said, trying to break through the awkwardness.

Ken made a 'hmmph' sound but didn't move.

Felix sighed and sat down on the bed next to Ken's feet. 'Listen Ken, we both know what happened. I just want to talk about it so we can be friends again. Just tell me what's going on, please Ken', Felix begged.

'Isn't it obvious?', Ken said and he sat up next to Felix, looking him in the eyes. 'I like you Felix, a lot. And… I thought it was mutual but I was wrong. It was my stupid mistake. I'm really sorry I did what I did, I… I thought you never wanted to see me again.'

'I'm sorry too Ken, I should have reacted in a different way. You just kinda startled me, you know', Felix admitted. The conversation went quiet for a bit and Felix looked out the window. 'So, does anyone know you're gay beside me?'

'No one', Ken said with a raspy voice.

'Well you're doing a great job hiding it, I never would have guessed. When I first saw you I was sure you had dozens of girls in line for a date', Felix said and chuckled softly.

Ken looked at him. 'Seriously? Well even if I had it wouldn't matter. So… you're okay with it?'

Felix looked back at Ken. 'Are you kidding me? Of course I am! I don't really care to be honest, you're still the same guy. You just happen to like other guys, nothing wrong with that', he said and smiled. 'You didn't really think I was homophobic did you?'

Ken smiled carefully. 'Thanks Felix. And no, I always knew that you'd be fine with it I think. But I only knew you for a week, so…'. He went quiet suddenly. 'You didn't… tell anyone else did you?'

Felix hadn't prepared himself for that question. He was thinking of something to say, not realising that his silence already gave the answer.

Ken stood up and walked away from Felix. 'Who did you tell?', he asked again. 'You didn't tell Brad did you? Or one of the other guys right?'

Felix had to tell the truth. 'No, Ken I didn't tell any of them. I only told Michelle, Ryan and Gaby.' He looked up to Ken, who looked back at him anxiously. 'Don't look so worried, Ken. I specifically told them not to tell anyone. Gaby lives in Canada anyway and Michelle and Ryan are the most kind people I know, they would never tell a soul, I swear!'

Ken sighed. 'Heck Felix, couldn't you have kept it to yourself?', he said.

'I'm sorry Ken but I had to tell someone. I was just feeling so confused. Besides I needed Michelle to find out where you lived, so it was only fair if I told her why', Felix said as he stood up.

Ken suddenly looked down to the floor and started crying. Felix looked at him shocked. 'Ken…' He instinctively walked over to Ken and embraced him. He hadn't expected Ken to start crying just like that. Ken sobbed into Felix' shoulder and held him close. They stood there for a few minutes in the middle of the room, while Felix patted Ken on the back softly, not saying anything.

Ken let go of Felix and stared back into the ground. 'I'm so sorry Felix, for everything. I just… I never wanted to fall for you like this. But what happened won't happen again, I promise. Though I don't think I'll go back to school this week just yet, I need a little more time…', he said.

'Take all the time you need, Ken', Felix said. 'And don't be sorry, we don't get to choose who we fall for. Just… just don't ignore my texts anymore'. He had almost started crying himself. Ken laughed and wiped the tears from his face.

'I won't, promise.'


	7. Chapter 7: Videogames

Ken still didn't show up to school for the rest of the week, as he had said, but Felix already felt loads better. They had been texting regularly and had made plans to play videogames at Ken's house this weekend. Felix already told Gaby about his talk with Ken and she was happy that it had all worked out so well. It was Saturday now and Felix was on his way to Ryan and Michelle for homework.

He opened the door and saw them sitting by the desk. 'Hey guys!'

'Hey Felix', they both said.

Felix grabbed a chair and sat beside them. 'So what are the plans for today? I thought we could start with physics, I'm having some trouble understanding that new formula for the magnetic flux.'

'Yeah, sure', Michelle said. 'But first you gotta tell us about how it went Wednesday, I'm curious!'

'Oh yeah, of course. Sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier. Luckily it went great, we talked things through and everything is pretty much back to normal I feel like. Ken just needed some more time, he is coming back to school on Monday for the history excursion', Felix said. He didn't mention the details of the conversation, for Ken's sake.

'That's great, I'm glad it went so well', Ryan said.

'Yeah, me too!', Michelle added. 'Does he actually know that we know? We just want to be able to show our support you know, even though we don't know him that well.'

Felix smiled, Michelle and Ryan were so kind. 'Yeah, he knows that you know. I think he'll be glad to hear your support either way.'

They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening doing their homework and watching TV. Felix enjoyed spending time with Ryan and Michelle. They seemed like they were genuinely happy, and that had positive effects on Felix's own mood. Ryan was a bit quiet and Michelle could be somewhat loud, but Felix always felt pleasant in their presence.

The next morning, Felix got up at 10am. He had the 11am bus so he had more than enough time to get ready. He was excited for today, he hadn't seen Ken since Wednesday and even though they had remained in regular contact he wondered how Ken was doing. About 90 minutes later he rang the doorbell. This time it was Ken who opened. He had trimmed his beard and looked much healthier and happier than he did the last time Felix saw him.

'Hey Felix', he said smiling. 'Come on in.'

Felix just smiled and walked into the hallway and put away his coat. He followed Ken to the living room, where Ken's parents were sitting at the table with coffee.

'Mom, dad, this is Felix', Ken said. 'We're gonna play some videogames today.'

Mr and Mrs Morrison both got up. 'Hi again Felix', Ken's mother said smiling. His father was a tall fellow. He had the same hair and beard colour as Ken's and looked very friendly. He shook Felix's hand just a bit too firmly. 'Nice to meet you Felix!', he said with a thick southern accent.

Felix greeted them back and rubbed his painful hand afterwards.

'Alright, we'll be upstairs if you need us', Ken said and they walked upstairs to Ken's room.

They turned on Ken's Gamecube and plugged in two controllers. Ken also had an Xbox but they wanted to play some old-school games like Super Smash Melee and Metroid first.

'Hey Ken, I gotta ask. How have you been holding up?', Felix asked.

'I actually feel great Felix, thanks. I have never been so relieved my entire life, I'm glad I could tell you', he said and Felix could see that he was being genuine. 'I have come to terms with myself too I feel like, I used to downplay myself quite a lot for being what I am but I'm not ashamed of it anymore', Ken said.

'Dude I'm so glad to hear you say that, really', Felix said and smiled. Ken smiled back the warm smile that Felix had missed during school so much.

'So, what do you want to play first?' Ken asked.

'Let's go for Metroid Prime 1, I'll just watch you play first', Felix said.

'Alright, if that's fine with you', Ken said and turned on the game. The Metroid Prime Trilogy had always been one of Felix's favourite games. There was no talking of any kind, just a whole lot of walking around, finding upgrades and shooting aliens. But it was the feeling of discovery and not the violence that made Felix love it so much. And the protagonist Samus Aran was a real badass.

Felix had always been proud of how good he was at the game, but Ken was even better. He played very calmly but took on the bosses in a very strategic manner. They took turns playing and after an hour or three they had about 15% of the game finished.

'We're gonna have to finish this bad boy another time', Ken said and laughed. 'Otherwise we'll still be sitting here by tomorrow'.

Felix laughed. 'Yeah you're right. How about some Super Smash then? You've been bragging about how good you are with Link all the time, I want to see for myself if it's true'.

'Hohoho, you're challenging me and Link Felix? Alright, bring it on!', Ken said dramatically.

They laughed and turned on the game. Felix always played with Pikachu. What followed was one of the most intense melee battles that Felix had ever had. He had never been this focussed. They were playing on the infamous Hyrule Temple map, and started with 10 lives both. Now, Felix was left with only one life, while Ken still had two.

'I gotta say Felix, I underestimated you. I think you're one of the toughest opponents I've ever had', Ken said casually while he took an electric shock from Felix.

'I was one of the best players in Goteborg actually', Felix lied. 'Oooohh yeahhh! Take that Link!', He suddenly yelled as he hit Ken's character and threw him off the screen. It was the winning kill now. Ken had a slight advantage because Felix had already taken some damage. Felix had never been this focussed, he leaned closer towards the screen and had his tongue out of his mouth slightly. Ken just sat back and blocked Felix's attacks and hit back when he saw an opening.

'Really Ken, really? You're just going to block all my attacks now?', Felix asked.

Ken laughed. 'Well it seems to be working, so yeah!'

Link hit Pikachu with a devastating swing of his sword and Pikachu fell down the map. Felix could do nothing to stop it, he just looked at the screen with a look of disbelief on his face.

'Yeaaahhh, told you I was good!', Ken shouted and stood up to do a victory dance.

'Oh shut up, Ken', Felix said but he couldn't help laughing. He pushed Ken on his bed and they both laughed loudly.

'Dude you were amazing with Link, have you ever done tournaments or something?', Felix asked.

'Yeah once. I lost in the semi-finals though, you wouldn't believe how much better some people still are', Ken said. 'I gotta say though, I've never seen someone play that good with Pikachu either. You almost got me man!'

'Haha I almost did, didn't I', Felix said. He looked at Ken laying on the bed. He was really happy he could talk to Ken again, but there was something else he felt. He wasn't sure what it was however, so he just ignored it.

They played a few other games of Melee, Ken won most of the time but occasionally Felix managed to win a match. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

'Kenneth, can I come in?', they heard the voice of Ken's mom say behind the door.

'Yeah sure mom', Ken replied.

Mrs Morrison walked in and looked at Ken with a hint of disapproval on her face. 'You've been playing videogames all day now Kenneth, and it's such nice weather outside!'

'Yeah yeah mom, I know', Ken said and rolled his eyes laughing at Felix.

'Anyway', Mrs Morrison said and she smiled at Felix. 'You can stay here for dinner if you want Felix, it would be no trouble for us.'

Felix hadn't even watched the time, he was having so much fun. 'Oh, yeah that would be great, thanks Mrs Morrison!', he said.

'Alright then. We're going to eat in 5 minutes, be sure to have finished the game by then!', she said and she closed the door behind her.

Ken and Felix finished their game and went downstairs for dinner. Mrs Morrison had made spareribs with mashed potatoes and a delicious salad with tomatoes, cucumber and olives. During dinner they asked Felix about how he was enjoying America, and what his life in Goteborg had been like. Felix liked Ken's parents, they were both really nice and seemed very open and accepting about pretty much everything. After dessert, Felix and Ken went back upstairs again to play some Rayman 3. It was one of Ken's favourites and Felix had heard that it was a great game, so he was excited to check it out. It was single player though, so they took turns playing.

'Your parents are really cool Ken, they're so open-minded. I've never heard people so genuinely interested in Sweden', Felix said and chuckled.

'Yeah, they're alright I guess', Ken said, focussed on the game.

'You should tell them', Felix said abruptly.

Ken paused the game and looked at Felix. 'Now? No way. But I will tell them Felix. I just need to find the right moment. But I'll tell them soon, I swear', he said.

'Yeah alright, I'm sorry for pushing it', Felix said.

Ken smiled at him. 'No need to be sorry Felix.'

They played Rayman for another few hours, it really was a great game, they had a blast. It was getting dark outside, and Felix checked the time.

'9 pm. I should get going, Ken', he said.

'Yeah, you probably should. What time do we leave for the excursion tomorrow?', Ken asked.

'Bus leaves at 10', Felix said as he checked what time the next bus back to campus would arrive. He had 15 minutes, that should be enough. 'You will be there right?'

'Yeah, I'll be there.'

'Good', Felix said. He put on his coat and Ken opened the door for him. They walked outside into sultry air of Mississippi and Felix turned around towards Ken. He felt that strange feeling he had earlier again, but still couldn't figure out what it was.

'We should really do this more often, I had an amazing time', Felix said. 'Also I demand a rematch against Link.'

Ken laughed and scratched his beard. 'If you want to get destroyed again, that's fine. But you're right, we should do this more often. I had a great time as well.'

They looked at each other for a few seconds.

'Well, I should be heading to the bus station', Felix said, breaking the silence. 'I'll see you tomorrow!'

'Yeah, see you tomorrow!', Ken said. He went back inside and closed the door.

10 minutes later Felix sat down in the bus. He still felt a little weird but decided it was nothing, it'd be gone in the morning. After a pleasant drive he arrived back at the campus and entered his room. He suddenly realised he was very tired, so he brushed his teeth and went straight to bed.

'Tomorrow should be fun', he thought as he set the alarm and fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Excursion

Felix opened his eyes after his alarm rang. He sat up, let out a big yawn and turned it off. Today he had an excursion with history class to the Civil War Interpretive Centre, but he didn't care too much for that. Excursions were always better than regular days at school though.

He showered, got dressed and got breakfast in the cafeteria. Felix recognised some people from his class, like Michelle and Ryan, who were also getting ready. He sat beside them with his breakfast.

'So, you guys looking forward to today?', Felix asked.

'Not too much to be honest, I heard it's pretty boring over there', Ryan said. 'But it's still better than school, we'll just make the most of it.'

'Yeah, true. Do you guys want to stick with me and Ken today?', Felix asked, he wanted Ken to get to know Michelle and Ryan a bit.

'Yeah that'd be cool Felix!', Michelle said.

They ate their breakfast and walked over to the school's nearest bus station. Ken was already waiting for Felix and waved when he saw him coming. Felix waved back and made a crazy face.

'You're early', Felix said. 'By the way, this is Ryan and Michelle, would it be alright if they hang with us today?' Felix asked.

'Yeah sure, no problem at all. Nice to meet you guys', Ken said and he smiled at Ryan and Michelle, who both greeted him back.

'Hey Ken, this might be a little weird since we don't know you that well, but we heard you were… we heard about your secret from Felix.' Michelle began a bit awkwardly. 'And we just want to say that we support you fully and that it's absolutely not a big deal to us. And we won't tell anyone unless you want us to', she said and Ryan nodded. Felix looked at Ken, not sure how he'd react to this.

Ken was obviously surprised but got himself together sooner than Felix had thought. 'Oh, well I appreciate that, I really do', he said kindly to Ryan and Michelle.

The bus arrived and all students got in. Felix and Ken sat next to each other and Michelle and Ryan too on the row behind them. They didn't talk much, but Felix already knew that Ken would get along fine with Michelle and Ryan. After a 20 minute drive they arrived at the CWIC, and they got out of the bus. It was a modern-looking, squared building. It looked a little depressing, Felix thought. They followed Mr Henderson to a small hill against the side of the building.

'Alright, gather around please!', Mr Henderson said loudly. 'Are we all here?'

Everyone remained quiet so he took that as a yes.

'Good. Today we're at the Civil War Interpretive Centre, one of the most interesting museums in the whole of Mississippi', he said proudly, like he was the owner of the museum. 'First we'll be following a guide who knows all about the civil war, and after that you will have a few ours to explore the area yourself.'

Felix heard some mumbling throughout the students and he glanced at Ken, who glanced back. Free time was always the best time when you were on an excursion

The guide was a rather large man of around 40 years old with glasses and a balding haircut. He looked at the students a bit sheepish and some of them silently laughed at him. The guided tour was pretty boring, Felix was quite interested by the things that were shown, such as old cannons and guns, but the guide was very tedious and didn't do much effort to make the guide worth their while. Mr Henderson noticed it too and seemed to have turned a bit sulky, which made Felix chuckle.

After a few hours the tour was finished, and the class was lead to the small cafeteria that the museum had. There were chicken and salmon sandwiches for everyone, and something to drink. Felix, Ryan, Michelle and Ken all got something and went to sit outside in the sun.

'I told you it'd be boring', Ryan said to Felix and chuckled.

Felix laughed. 'Yeah you did. It's more the guide's fault though, he is a bit dull', he said.

'A bit?', Michelle asked rhetorically. 'He is more boring than a snail running a marathon!'

They all laughed.

'What's so funny?', they suddenly heard behind them. It was Mr Henderson.

'Oh… uh… nothing, Mr Henderson', Michelle said nervously, hoping that the teacher hadn't heard her.

'No? I thought I heard something about the guide being boring', Mr Henderson said and Michelle looked at Felix and the others for help.

'Yeah, that's true. He is boring, don't tell me you don't think so, Mr Henderson', Ken suddenly said and Michelle's mouth fell open. Felix had noticed that it was very disrespectful to talk back to your teachers in America, even more than in Sweden.

Mr Henderson went quiet for a bit and looked at Ken. Then he sighed. 'You're right Kenneth, he is boring. It would have been so much more fun for everyone with a better guide. Try to learn something in your free time, that way this whole excursion will not have been in vain', he said and walked away.

'Poor guy', Ryan said. 'He was looking forward to this so much. Where do you guys want to go later? Michelle and I wanted to check out the upper floor a bit more thoroughly first'.

'We wanted to go uphill to check out the view, if that's cool', Felix said.

Ryan nodded. 'Yeah of course, let's meet here again after that', he said as he got up. Michelle got up as well and said goodbye to Felix and Ken, leaving them alone.

Ken jumped up and helped Felix up. 'Let's go Felix, that hill is pretty steep!', he said. No one else was climbing it, Felix saw. About 10 minutes later they arrived on top of the hill and looked out over the entire museum. The sun was out and the sky was cloudless, which made for a beautiful view. Ken had sat down against a tree, and Felix sat down beside him, tired from climbing.

He suddenly felt weird again, the same as he felt yesterday after he had left Ken's house. He looked at Ken, who had his eyes closed and was leaning back against the tree trunk. For some reason Felix's thoughts went back to their kiss, and he felt even weirder. All of the sudden he wanted to rest his head against Ken's shoulder, just like he had after the party. He rapidly looked away from Ken, scared that he would open his eyes and see Felix staring at him.

'What the hell is going on with me?', Felix thought anxiously.

'Am I… am I falling for him?', he thought. 'No, I can't be. I'm not even into guys'.

But he still couldn't explain the weird feeling. He had never felt like this around someone else before, and even though it was strange he rather enjoyed it. He carefully looked back at Ken, who still had his eyes closed, trying to let go of all his doubts and only feeling how he truly felt. It was obvious.

'Shit… I think I am falling for him', Felix thought. He stood up and looked out over the museum. 'Why does this have to happen?', he thought, feeling a mixture of happiness, fear and frustration at the same time. 'We were just fine and now my brain has to go all crazy making me fall in love with him'.

'You okay Felix?', Ken asked after what must have been almost half an hour and Felix's heart jumped a little. 'I almost fell asleep, haha!'

'Oh… yeah, I just miss home a little bit', Felix lied quickly. 'But it's fine.'

'That sucks. Want to talk about it?'

'No, it's fine, really'.

'Alright. It's pretty here isn't it?', Ken said.

'Yeah, it really is', Felix said. 'Shall we head back? I just gotta use the bathroom'.

'Good idea', Ken said as he stood up and stretched himself out. 'I'm getting hungry too, we're probably getting the bus back to campus soon'.

They walked down the hill again, Felix was still feeling confused but luckily Ken didn't seem to notice. Felix found the bathroom and went inside, only to grab his phone and text Gaby.

 _'There is something I have to tell you. Skype later?'_

20 minutes later he was back on the bus with Ken, Ryan and Michelle, when he felt his phone buzzing.

 _'Anytime, I'll be online'._


	9. Chapter 9: No Shame

Felix closed the door of his room and sighed. 'This can't be happening', he thought. After they had got back from the CWIC, Ken had gone home to Ridgeland right away, and Michelle and Ryan were going to work on another art project again. Gaby would probably be online, so Felix turned on his laptop and logged in on Skype. As he thought Gaby was online, so he grabbed his microphone and called her up.

'Hey Gaby, how are things?'

'Things are great Felix, I feel like we haven't talked in ages haha', Gaby said.

'Calm down now', Felix chuckled. 'It has only been a couple of days'.

'True. So, what is it you wanted to talk about?' she asked.

Felix hesitated for a second. 'Well… you're probably going to think I'm crazy…', he started

'No I'm not', Gaby said and laughed. 'Just spit it out!'

Felix took a deep breath, he had to tell her. 'I'm in love with Ken', he said. After a moment of silence Gaby came with a response.

'Wait… isn't Ken the guy that like… kissed you a couple of weeks ago?' she asked carefully. 'And I recall you telling me that you're in to girls'.

'I am! And yeah, it's the same guy. I can't explain it, I'm so confused, the past few days I've been getting this weird feeling when I'm around him, and I think about him all day. And it sucks, we just made things right again and now this happens…', Felix said.

'Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is, maybe you just really like him as a friend?', Gaby asked. She seemed a bit doubtful about the situation.

'No, it's more than that, I'm sure of it', Felix said. 'I can't help it… I…', he began but he couldn't finish his sentence. He felt tears welling up in his eyes and before he knew it they were streaming down his face.

'Hey, hey! Calm down Felix, it'll be alright! Shit, if only I could hug you now!', Gaby said concerned.

Felix quickly wiped the tears from his face and forced himself to stop crying. 'Yeah you're right, sorry about that. This is all just… new for me I guess'.

'That's alright Felix, no need to apologise', Gaby said. 'So… are you gonna tell him?'

'I don't know', Felix said truthfully. 'Do you think I should?'

'Definitely', Gaby said. 'If you really love him, and when I hear how you describe the feeling it sounds like you do, then you should go for it in my opinion. Love is love, people tend to think love and sexuality are closely linked, but I disagree'.

Felix knew she was right. 'Yeah you're right. Fuck, that's going to be hard though…', he sighed.

'It will be, but I think the best thing is if you surprise him. Maybe just take him out to see a film, like friends, and tell him afterwards how you've been feeling', Gaby suggested.

'Yeah. Yeah that sounds like a good idea actually', Felix said. 'Thanks Gaby, you're really the best'.

'I do what I can', Gaby said and they both laughed.

'Just one more thing about this Felix. Don't ever feel ashamed of who you are or what you're feeling. I hate society for making it so difficult for people to open up, especially guys because it would be less manly or something. It's all bullshit, please let no one ever get you down for being who you are!'

Felix almost started crying again, but of happiness this time. 'I don't think I've ever met anyone as genuine as you before Gaby, I mean it. And I won't, trust me.'

'Aw stop it you', Gaby said. 'But yeah, that's my insight. What film are you gonna go for? Make sure it's something that he definitely will like'.

'What about Interstellar? It's been getting pretty great reviews and I remember that Ken told me he wanted to see it really bad'.

'Ohhh yes go see Interstellar! I've seen it already, it's absolutely amazing. And I think it's perfect for the occasion too', Gaby said excited.

'Alright alright, Interstellar it is then!', Felix said and laughed. He checked the website of the closest cinema in Jackson and saw that it was playing tomorrow night at 9 pm. They had school the day after, but Felix knew that Ken was used to staying up late and so was he.

'We could go 9pm tomorrow? Or is that too soon?' Felix asked Gaby.

'Honestly, I think that the sooner you go, the better. Otherwise you'll have to cope with this feeling of doubt all week', she said.

'Good point', Felix said. He got his phone out to text Ken.

 _'_ _Hey Ken, I remember you said you wanted to see Interstellar. Wanna go tomorrow 9 pm?'_

'Well, the seed has been planted', Felix said and chuckled.

Gaby laughed. 'Good. I gotta hang up though, my friend is picking me up in a minute'.

'Yeah that's fine', Felix said.

'Alright, keep me up to date! Bye!'

'Talk later Gaby, and thanks so much for always being there, really'.

'Don't sweat it Felix. Just know that whenever I have a problem, I expect you to listen as good as I did!' She said laughing before hanging up.

Felix smiled and checked the time. '7 pm already, time for some food'. He went over to the cafeteria and had some food by himself, overthinking the day. He still felt confused about liking Ken, but also happy. The talk with Gaby had really helped him a lot. She was right, there was no shame in feeling how he felt.

His thoughts were interrupted by Michelle and Ryan, who had joined him at the table. 'Hey guys! How is the art thing going?' Felix asked.

Michelle sighed. 'Shit. We need to make a painting centred around a certain meaningful phrase, but we can't think of anything'.

'It's the worst', Ryan said. 'If we don't think of something we'll never have enough time to finish it'.

Felix thought back of his conversation with Gaby. 'Holy shit, I've got something perfect. Hear this', he said and Ryan and Michelle sat closer towards him with hopeful eyes.

'Never let anyone get you down for being who you are'

'That's…', Ryan stuttered.

'That's perfect!', Michelle yelled. 'It's got a great flow to it, the right amount of words, and a great meaning. How the heck did you just come up with that Felix?' she asked.

'My best friend said it to me once, and I never forgot it', Felix said and smiled.

'Well you gotta thank him or her from us', Ryan said. 'Come on Michelle, we better get started on some brainstorming!'

Michelle kissed Felix on his forehead and then ran after a loudly laughing Ryan. Felix also laughed and finished his meal, feeling glad that he could help his two friends.

He spent the rest of the evening drawing while listening to music. He used to love drawing as a child, but for some reason he had stopped drawing when he had started high school in Sweden. His favourite things to draw were paradoxes, inspired by Escher or Reutersvard. Felix liked how drawing took his mind off things. For a few hours he just entered a world of focus and creativity, not having to think of any of his problems in the real world. A few hours later Felix crawled into his bed when he heard his phone buzzing.

 _'_ _Yes! I'd love to go, I already made a reservation for 2 seats, hope that's alright :P'_

Felix felt warm inside reading Ken's text.

 _'_ _Haha that's fine! See you at school tomorrow :)'_

Felix turned off his phone and fell into a comfortable sleep.


	10. Chapter 10: Cinema

Felix's first class of today was English. When Ken walked in 10 minutes late Felix couldn't help laughing. Being late for class had become Ken's trademark, and he seemed to be fine with it. He did have to be careful though, if he missed too many classes he'd be called to the principal. Ken sat down next to Felix, still breathing heavily from the rush he had been in.

'God dang bus was too late', Ken said.

'I'm sure it was', Felix said sarcastically.

Ken looked at him and hit Felix playfully on his shoulder. 'I'm being serious!' Ken said and pretended he was hurt.

'Ouch!' Felix played along, and they both laughed.

Throughout the class, Felix noticed that he was mainly just looking at Ken the whole time, he didn't really hear much of what the teacher said. Not that he needed too, English was one of his best subjects. Ken was paying attention however, so he didn't notice Felix looking at him. The rest of the morning continued like this, after that Felix and Ken sat with Ryan and Michelle for lunch.

'Morning guys', Ken said.

'Morning!' Michelle said enthusiastically and Ryan gave them a friendly nod.

'You're even more excited than usual Michelle', Felix chuckled. 'What's up?'

'We told our art teacher about the quote you gave us yesterday, and she freaking loves it', Michelle said proudly.

'We're going to make an abstract painting with it, so we're going to hide the words inside the painting if you know what I mean, make it subtle. Lots of shapes as well, should be fun', Ryan said.

'I haven't heard of any quote, what is it?' Ken asked.

'Never let anyone get you down for being who you are', Michelle said solemnly.

Ken went quiet and Felix thought he saw a tear in the corner of Ken's eye. 'That's… that's really nice. I could learn from that, haha…'

'We didn't mean anything by it Ken, really', Ryan said and smiled. 'Being okay with who you are is easier said than done, and owning up to it is even harder. Take your time, you'll have the courage you need soon'.

Ken looked up and laughed. 'You're absolutely right Ryan'.

The bell rang and Felix was separated from Ken, Ryan and Michelle. He had philosophy class now, and none of them had also chosen that subject. Felix spent the class mostly doodling in his notebook as the teacher was covering some stuff he had already learned about in Sweden. He was starting to get a bit nervous for tonight, how was he going to tell Ken about what was going on? Would he even believe Felix?

'I'll just have to wait until tonight', Felix thought. 'No point in overthinking this'.

Felix had another class alone, and then physics with Ryan. Felix went to his room straight away after his last class had ended to get started on his homework, for which he would have no time in the evening. Around 6 he texted with Michelle and they met each other in the cafeteria for dinner. She was, together with Ryan, one of the only students that had a room at the campus. Most students just went home in the afternoons and weekends, like Ken did. The three of them sat down for dinner at a table outside, as the sun was still out.

'Why are you guys always at school actually?' Felix asked.

'Uhm… well, I sorta got kicked out by my parents last year', Michelle said carefully after some silence.

Felix was shocked, he hadn't expected an answer like that. 'Are you serious? Why?'

Michelle sighed. 'Please don't think badly of me Felix. Before you knew me, I had some real problems. I… I did drugs pretty much every day and I had all the wrong friends, people that would use and… abuse me. At a certain point I got into the hospital because of it, and my parents no longer let me in to their house. I got into depression and then I met Ryan, who has helped me getting my life back together'.

'Holy shit, that's crazy, I'm so sorry Michelle. Forgive me for saying it, but your parents are way out of line here in my opinion. I mean, you're their freaking daughter, they should be understanding!'

Michelle smiled sadly. 'Yeah, maybe you're right. Ryan's dad helped me get a room here at campus. I don't think I've seen my parents in at least 5 months now'.

Felix didn't know what to say. 'Geez, sorry for bringing it up, you probably don't like talking about it'.

'You were just being kind', Michelle said and smiled. 'But you're right, I prefer talking about other stuff. You doing something tonight?'

'Actually I am', Felix said. 'Me and Ken are going to see Interstellar, should be fun'.

'Oh man, you're gonna love it', Ryan said. 'It's one of the best films I've ever seen, and I'd like to see myself as someone who knows quality films. Did you like Inception?'

'I loved Inception, I still don't fully understand it though, not even after watching it for like 4 times'.

Ryan laughed. 'Same here buddy'.

Felix finished his meal and checked the time, He would meet Ken in 30 minutes at his room, from where they would drive to the cinema.

'Alright guys I gotta go, seeya!' he said to Ryan and Michelle and they wished him good fun at the movies.

Felix's nerves had settled down for some reason, but he was glad they had. He didn't want Ken to notice anything before Felix would tell anything. He opened his wardrobe and picked out some of his better clothes to wear, a pair of light brown hipster pants and an 'Inspected' T-shirt. He put some gel in his hair and sat down on his bed to play some snake on his phone, whilst waiting for Ken. Not long after that there was a knock on the door and Felix opened.

'Ready to go?' Ken asked excitedly, he was obviously looking forward to the movie.

'So ready', Felix said. 'Can't wait to let my mind be boggled by this film'.

'Me neither', Ken said.

When they walked over to Ken's car something occurred to Felix and he stopped before getting in. Ken looked at him confused.

'Wait, Ken. You're 18 years old right?' Felix asked.

'Yeah, what about it?'

'Is it even legal for you to drive a car then?' Felix asked.

Ken scratched his beard and looked at his feet. 'Well… strictly speaking it isn't. But my parents are fine with it because they know I'm not reckless, you know. Besides, I've never been pulled over either, guess the beard makes me look old enough'.

Felix laughed. 'True, better not shave it off for the next three years then'.

Ken laughed and unlocked the car. 'Sorry Felix, I should have told you earlier but I didn't really think about it'.

Felix took a seat in the car next to Ken. 'No apologies necessary, it's totally fine'.

After a 10 minute drive, Ken parked the car in a parking lot near the centre of Jackson. They got out the car and walked another 5 minutes to the cinema. Ken got the tickets from their reservation and they decided to order something to eat and drink before going to their seats.

'Holy crap, there is so much you can choose from!' Felix said looking at the long list of snacks that they had to offer. There was pizza, nachos, burritos and even pasta to choose from.

Ken laughed. 'You don't have that in Sweden?'

'No, with us it's just popcorn or potato chips', Felix replied. He was still a little full from dinner so he just went for a small bucket of salted popcorn. Ken got some nachos with Mexican salsa and they walked into the room where Interstellar would be starting in 15 minutes. It was pretty huge, but it was already half full. Ken and Felix took a seat pretty far in the back and talked about their expectations of the film till the lights were dimmed.

'Yes! It's starting', Felix whispered to Ken and they both went quiet.

3 hours later the movie was finished, and the people in the room were slowly getting up while chatting lively about the film, and so were Ken and Felix.

'Oh man, that was just… awesome. What a freaking amazing film, I'm just speechless haha!' Felix said. 'Without doubt one of the best movies I've ever seen'.

'Dude I know what you mean, and the music! So beautiful! I feel like I could watch it again tomorrow and be equally amazed', Ken said.

They left the cinema and walked back over to the parking lot, talking about the movie constantly, trying to relive the best bits and discussing what they thought the meaning behind it was.

Felix felt weird from the movie, but in a good way, and he felt his nerves coming back up again. He had to tell Ken about what he was going through, he had promised himself and he couldn't turn back now. On the way back they kept talking about Interstellar, but Felix's thought drifted to what he was going to say.

'How am I gonna bring this up?', he thought.

When they arrived at Felix's room, Felix felt his heart pumping. 'It's now or never', he thought.

'Ken, could you stay here for a few more minutes? I gotta tell you something', Felix said.

'Yeah sure Felix, what's up?' Ken asked.

'I… fuck you're going to think I'm crazy…', Felix said. He felt his hands shaking and he was starting to sweat. 'I don't know how this happened, I swear…'.

Ken looked at him concerned and confused at the same time. 'How what happened? What's going on Felix? You can tell me'.

Felix took a deep breath. 'Okay, fine then. I really like you Ken, and in a more-than-friends kind of way. It's stupid I know, last week I rejected you and we were just friends again and now I'm falling for you. I've just never felt like this around someone before, and I…'. Felix stopped mid-sentence and looked at his feet.

'Felix… I don't know what to say…', Ken said. 'I mean… you told me you weren't into guys even, so sorry but I'm just a bit confused by this…', he said.

'I know… I know… I am confused too. And I really thought I wasn't into guys when I said that, as I said I have no idea why this is happening, I swear…', Felix said. 'But it's real. I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't absolutely sure.'

The following moments were probably the most tense moments Felix had ever experienced. Ken just looked at him with an expression on his face that Felix couldn't determine. Slowly, Ken walked over to Felix, still not saying anything.

'Shit, Felix… You really surprised me with this', Ken said and he chuckled lightly. 'But I'd be lying if I said that hearing it doesn't make me a little happy'. Felix looked up, surprised to hear Ken say that. 'I… I really like you too Felix, but you knew that already of course. I always feel like I can be myself around you', Ken said. Felix realised they were only inches away from each other, and he couldn't help his thoughts flashing back to when Ken had kissed him, and Felix wanted it to happen again.

'If you want… you can uh…', Felix began but Ken cut him off by softly pressing his lips against Felix's, whose heart made the same jump it had last time, but now it felt pleasant. Felix pushed back a little, his heart racing. He still felt confused, but happy at the same time. Ken started using his tongue and Felix wrapped his arms around Ken's waist. For a moment they let go of each other and looked each other in the eyes. Ken rushed his hand through Felix's hair and kissed him again, rougher this time, pushing him against the wall. Ken's beard and moustache scratched and tickled Felix's skin in a pleasant way, he had never felt anything like it before because he was used to kissing girls. After another minute they let go of each other again, and Ken took a step back, still holding on to Felix's hands.

'First time I ever officially kissed a dude', Felix said and chuckled.

'For me too actually', Ken said. 'Was it uh… was it any good?'

Felix kissed Ken shortly again. 'It was pretty great actually', he said and smiled. 'Never thought I'd say it, but the beard actually made it better'.

Ken laughed. 'So… you wanna give this a go? Us, I mean?'

Felix decided to act on how he felt in the moment. He didn't care what people would think, he didn't care if he would have doubts the next day. 'Yeah, let's go for it', he replied.


	11. Chapter 11: Together

Felix woke up late on this sunny Wednesday morning as he had a few hours off, and it took him about 5 seconds to remember what had happened the evening before. He had made out with Ken, and it had felt great. Not only that, they decided to 'give this a go', as Ken had put it.

'Guess I have a boyfriend now', Felix thought and he smiled. He grabbed his phone to text Ken.

 _'_ _Hi :3 Soooo are we together now?'_

Felix got into his clothes and headed to the cafeteria. He was having a tough time not smiling all the time, but he was just feeling happier than ever. When he got his food he received a text.

 _'_ _Guess we are huh? :P Let's just not make it public just yet, okay?'_

Felix was saddened a bit by that, but he had expected it. He personally didn't really care about what anyone thought, but he knew that Ken was a little sensitive when it came to other people's opinions. And he understood that, everyone Ken knew was from around here so Felix knew that an announcement like this would have greater consequences for Ken than it would for Felix.

When Ken sat down next to Felix in class, they just smiled at each other, no words had to be spoken. During the break, Felix decided it was time to talk to Ken about what they were going to do.

'I'm sorry for bringing it up already Ken, but when are we going to tell people? I'm not a fan of hiding stuff like this', Felix said.

Ken sighed. 'I know Felix, it's only logical that you want to talk about it. I just… I dunno…'.

Felix knew Ken needed his help with this. 'Ken, we'll get through this together. Just tell me where you want to start? Your parents? Your friends?'

Ken smiled uncomfortably. 'I really don't…', He stuttered. Felix grabbed hold of his hand across the table and looked Ken in the eyes. 'Let's start with my parents I guess', Ken finally said. Felix let go of Ken's hand. 'Woo! Yes, that's more like it Ken!', he yelled. Some people looked over to them and Ken and Felix started laughing.

'So, tonight?', Felix asked as a joke, so Ken's answer surprised him.

'Yeah sure, why the heck not? You can have dinner at our place'.

'Are you serious?' Felix asked, not sure if Ken was playing with him.

'Yeah! I kinda want to get this all over with as soon as possible. Life is too short to be unhappy, I just need to have some freaking courage for a change', Ken said. 'My parents are actually going on holiday tomorrow, so at least I won't have to be around them for some time after I tell them'.

Felix suddenly got an idea. 'Let's throw a party when they're gone! Perfect time to tell your friends, right? It'll probably be easier to tell people if you've had some to drink too', he chuckled.

Ken didn't look overly excited.

'It's alright Ken, if you want some time in between that's totally cool!' Felix said kindly.

'Thanks', Ken said. It went quiet and Felix finished his sandwich.

'You know what? Screw it, let's throw a freaking party', Ken said and smiled nervously.

'Dude you are full of surprises today!' Felix said enthusiastically. He was glad things hadn't become awkward, if anything he felt like Ken and him had become even closer. 'We can plan it tomorrow, if that's alright?'

'Sure', Ken said right when the bell rang. Felix wanted to ask Ken one more thing before they both went to their separate classes. 'Ken, I'm seeing Michelle and Ryan this evening for homework. Is it… would it be alright if I told them? You know we can trust them'.

Ken stood still for a moment, most of the students had left the cafeteria already. 'Fine… you can tell them', Ken said a bit reluctantly, but he smiled at Felix to let him know it was alright. Felix looked around and gave Ken a kiss on his bearded cheek. Ken was startled a bit and blushed. 'Thanks Ken', Felix said smiling and walked away.

The rest of the day went by like a normal school day. Felix had a chemistry test during his last class, which he finished 10 minutes early. 'Flippin' easy', he thought as he walked out of the classroom. He went to Ryan's room and he sat down against the wall, waiting for Ryan and Michelle to arrive. He wondered how they would react to his story, but he wasn't too scared. 'Why am I not scared?' Felix thought. 'I just know that they'll be cool, that's probably it'.

About 10 minutes later Michelle and Ryan arrived and they went inside the room.

'How the heck did you finish the test so early Felix?' Michelle asked.

'Well it wasn't too difficult was it?' Felix said, but the look on Michelle's face told him she disagreed. 'What did you think Ryan?'

'Sorry Michelle, I have to go with Felix on this one. It was fairly easy. Gotta say though, I wouldn't have been able to finish it without all your help Felix, I'm very grateful', Ryan said and smiled.

Felix blushed lightly. 'That's alright. You'll do better next time Michelle, I'll help you'.

They worked on some book reports for the next few hours. Neither one of them had actually read the books, so they had to find all of the information online. Felix never read for school, he didn't like that he was obligated to read books that he maybe didn't even want to read. Then again, he didn't really read anything in his free time either.

They were all working quietly, sometimes asking questions to each other, when Felix decided to cut the subject. He wasn't sure why, but the book report was boring him to bits and he felt like talking.

'Guys, I need to tell you something'.

Michelle and Ryan looked up. 'What's up?' Ryan asked.

'You remember a while ago, I said that Ken kissed me right?' Felix began.

They nodded.

'And that I was absolutely not into guys?'

They nodded again.

'Well… that last part wasn't entirely true… I think. Me and Ken are… we're like… we're boyfriends', Felix said, smiling nervously. Ryan and Michelle were obviously surprised, which amused Felix a little bit. 'Did you two lose your tongues or something?' he chuckled.

'It's… it's just a surprise!' Michelle said and Ryan nodded. 'So you're bisexual?'

Felix hadn't really thought about that yet. 'I'm not sure. I don't really want to label myself as this or that just yet, you know?'

'I totally understand', Ryan said. 'I feel like sexuality is not nearly as important as everyone makes it out to be. I believe everyone is bisexual, but some people just never find out'.

Felix was surprised to hear Ryan say that. 'That's an interesting view actually. You might even be right!' he said.

'So when… and how did this happen?' Michelle asked.

'It was kinda weird actually. Right after the incident, I noticed I was developing some feelings for Ken. At first I didn't think much of it, but then I realised that it wasn't an ordinary feeling. I mean, I was familiar with the feeling, but only because I had had it around girls before. And then we went to the movies and I told him about it and… we kissed'.

Michelle burst out laughing. 'Are you serious? Last week you said you didn't like it!'

Felix and Ryan laughed with her. 'I know it's weird, I think I was just not ready the first time it happened', Felix said. 'But this time I was, and I'm not going to lie it was pretty good. It's so different compared to kissing girls, especially with Ken's beard'.

'But no one knows about this yet? Except us now? How are you guys going to work that out?' Ryan asked after Michelle's laughter had settled down.

'I'm heading off to Ken's this evening and we're going to tell his parents first', Felix said. 'I'm kinda nervous, I've only met them once. But they seemed very cool'. Felix checked the time. 'Woah, I actually have to get going soon-ish', he said.

'That's cool', Michelle said. 'I'm sure it'll be fine. But man, this turned into quite an interesting homework session!'

Felix chuckled. 'Damn right huh? I'm glad you guys are so easy-going about all this, thanks for that'. He packed his stuff and got up from the chair. 'Well… guess I'll see you tomorrow'.

'Yeah', Michelle and Ryan said simultaneously. 'Good luck tonight!'

'I'm going to need it', Felix thought 20 minutes later, in the bus on his way to Ridgeland.


	12. Chapter 12: Ken's Parents

Felix rang the doorbell and waited. His heart was beating faster than ever, and it wasn't even him who was going to come out. 'I can't wait till this is over', he thought. After a short while, Ken opened the door. Felix could see that he was extremely nervous.

'So…', Felix said. 'Are you ready for this?'

'Nope, not at all', Ken said and chuckled nervously. 'But I can't back down now'. He stepped outside and stood in front of Felix. 'You have to push me to tell them. If I… if I hesitate'.

Felix took hold of Ken's hand and looked him in his brown eyes. 'I will'. They stepped inside and walked into the living room.

'Good evening, Felix!' Mrs Morrison said happily. 'I hope you're hungry, I've made pancakes'.

Felix forgot about his nerves for a second. 'I'm starving actually. And pancakes are my favourite food!'

'Then you are in for a treat. My wife makes the best pancakes in all of Mississippi', Mr Morrison said laughing.

Felix sat down next to Ken. They occasionally glanced at each other, but most of all Felix conversed with Mr and Mrs Morrison. Again he was astonished by how nice they were, which gave him good hopes for the rest of the evening. They talked about soccer (although Felix was used to calling it football), school and the future.

'So Felix, what do you intend to do after high school?' Mrs Morrison asked curiously.

'I'm not quite sure yet, but I think something like game design would be really cool. I've always loved playing videogames as a child and I feel like it's a medium that's still so open for endless exploration. And I would love to be a part of that'.

'Well in the end it's about doing what you love, right?', she said.

'Absolutely!' Felix said. They had finished eating and Ken's dad had got up to clean the table. 'Help me with these dishes, will you Ken?' He said.

Ken got up and Felix followed his example by bringing the plates to the kitchen. A while later they sat down around the table again and Mrs Morrison brought coffee.

'You've been quiet Ken, are you alright?' Ken's mother asked.

Felix looked at Ken, who glanced back at him. 'This is it, Ken', Felix thought.

'I'm fine mom', Ken said convincingly enough. Felix kicked Ken under the table against his shin, just hard enough for Ken to get the message.

'Actually…', Ken started. 'Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something'. He fell quiet and Felix knew that he was struggling. 'But I'm not sure how…'

Mr Morrison sat up, he noticed that something was going on. 'What is it Ken? Have you been bullied at school? Whatever it is, you can tell us, you know that!', he said.

Ken looked down at the table and chuckled nervously. 'No dad, I'm not being bullied. I'm…', he started but he went quiet again.

'Kenneth, you can talk to us', Mrs Morrison said. 'We won't judge you for anything'.

Suddenly something seemed to come over Ken. He looked up and Felix saw tears shimmering in the corners of his eyes.

'Alright then. Mom, dad, I'm gay. I don't like girls, but guys', Ken said with his shaking voice. It went quiet for a few seconds, but then Mr and Mrs Morrison got up and walked over to Ken, without saying a word, and lifted him from his chair. They hugged him simultaneously, smooshing Ken together. After about 30 seconds they let go of each other and Ken wiped the tears from his eyes.

'Kenneth, you are our son. We love you for who you are, your sexuality changes absolutely nothing about that', Mrs Morrison said and she kissed Ken on his forehead.

'I know… I know', Ken said and smiled.

'Then why didn't you tell us sooner?', Mr Morrison asked.

'I just… I didn't have the courage. And I hadn't met Felix', Ken said and he smiled at Felix, who immediately started blushing. It didn't take Mr and Mrs Morrison long to find out what Ken meant.

They walked over to Felix and hugged him the same way as they had hugged Ken, which Felix hadn't expected at all. When they let go of him Felix pretended to gasp for air and they all laughed. They all sat down by the fireplace.

'This was not the evening I expected', Mr Morrison said. 'Forgive me, but I do wonder about some things'.

'Ask away', Felix said and Ken nodded.

'Okay. When did you find out?'

'I think I kind of always knew… deep down', Ken said. 'I was terrified in the beginning, everyone at school always used 'gay' as a cuss word so it stuck to me as something that was bad. And I just hated the stereotyping. Not only of gay people, but every particular group of people. It's like everyone is obsessed with labelling everyone as something instead of just letting them live'.

'I can understand that. I'm so sorry that society is so crooked when it comes to these things, I just wished you would have told us sooner', Mr Morrison said.

Felix was surprised about how quickly Ken had opened up, but he was glad.

'I actually found out a week ago', Felix said and he felt his face getting red. 'I had never had feelings for a guy before but… but with Ken it was different for some reason'. It felt weird saying these things in front of Ken's parents, but he knew it could help.

Ken's mother couldn't oppress an 'awwww'.

The rest of the evening Felix and Ken spent talking to Ken's parents. When Felix checked the time he noticed it was almost 11 pm. 'As much as I'd love to talk more, it's time for me to get back to campus', he said.

'It was a pleasure once again to have you with us, Felix', Mr Morrison said kindly and Mrs Morrison smiled kindly at him.

Ken got up. 'I'll walk you out', he said.

'So, how do you think that went?' Felix asked when they stood outside together.

'Better than I could have ever hoped for', Ken said smiling. 'I couldn't have done it without you, really Felix, thank you so freaking much'.

'I'm just happy to see you legitimately smiling', Felix said as he took a step closer towards Ken. He brought his lips towards Ken's and they shared a kiss on the doorstep. Felix looked Ken in his brown eyes and realised that he had never been this happy.

'I love you, Ken', he said, truthfully.

'I love you too, Felix', Ken said.

'And we're still planning that party tomorrow, right?' Felix asked.

'Damn right we are', Ken said smiling. 'I'll see you at school tomorrow'.

'See you tomorrow', Felix said and he turned around. He didn't really want to leave Ken, but tomorrow they would have another whole day for themselves, so he had something to look forward to.

When Felix got home he texted Ken.

 _'Tell your parents I had a great time. And wish them good fun on holiday from me! Night :)'_

He got into his pyjamas and waited for Ken to text back.

 _'All done :) Night x'_

Felix smiled and went to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Preparations

The next day started of beautiful, it was warm outside so Felix got his shorts out of his closet for the first time. He had a few hours off in the morning so he decided to update Gaby on all that had been going on. They hadn't talked for a while since Gaby was busy with school work, but she had a week off now and she had asked Felix if he had time to talk, so he logged into Skype and called her.

'Hey Gaby!' Felix said.

'Hey Felix', Gaby chuckled. 'You sure sound cheerful on such an early morning'.

'I've got all reason to be actually', Felix said. 'School is going great, the weather is beautiful and…'

'And what?' Gaby asked because Felix went quiet.

Felix moved closer to the microphone and whispered: 'And I've got a boyfriend'. Felix laughed when there was no response from Gaby.

'Yeahhh woohoooo!', she finally called out. 'Wait… are you messing with me? Cause if you are, it's not funny!' Gaby said but Felix could definitely hear she was amused.

'I'm not, I swear!', Felix said reassuringly.

'Hmm… alright then…', Gaby started. 'Ken was his name right?'

'Yep, Kenneth Morrison from Ridgeland, Mississippi', Felix said. He could hear Gaby typing and he assumed she was looking Ken up on Facebook or something.

'Oh you got good taste Felix, he's a handsome guy', Gaby said.

'I know right', Felix said and he blushed. 'This is so weird though. I always talked to my guy friends about cute girls, and now it's the other way around', he said and they both laughed. 'Ken actually came out to his parents last night'.

'Oh really? And?' Gaby asked curiously.

'It went so great, I'm so happy for him. His parents were so freaking chill about it, it was amazing. And afterwards we talked about all the important life-topics you can think of.'

'Awww yes! That's so great', Gaby said, genuinely happy. 'So when will he tell his friends and other relatives?' she asked.

'He hasn't got much close relatives living nearby, so his parents are spreading the word in their families. And as far as friends go, me and Ken are planning a party since his parents went on holiday today, that's when he'll tell his friends', Felix said. 'Wait, you're free from school now right?'

'Yeah I am', Gaby said. 'Finally some rest from all those projects'.

'That's perfect! You should totally come over here for the party! Then you can meet Ken also!'

'Yeah that'd be insane! I'd love to come! It's gonna be expensive, but what the heck', Gaby replied.

'I already can't wait. I'll let you know when we've got it planned', Felix said. 'I have got class now though. Talk later!'

'Talk later Felix!'

The rest of the day went by just as any other school day. Felix spent lunch break with Ken, Ryan and Michelle, and afterwards he had some more classes alone. During his time at school he hadn't really got to know much people apart from those three and Ken's friends. No one else really paid much attention to him, and he liked that.

After his last class, Felix met up with Ken at the bus stop. There were some people around so Felix just talked.

'Heya. When is the bus arriving?'

'Speak of the devil', Ken said as he nodded towards something in the distance. A moment later they got into the bus and took a seat in the back. There wasn't a lot of people around so Felix decided to take a chance by grabbing Ken's hand.

'No one can see, Ken', Felix said calmly when he noticed Ken looking around a bit nervously.

'Shit, I know', Ken said and he blushed. 'I wish I could be as easy-going about it as you. It's just anxiety, I'll get over it someday'.

'Stuff like this will help with that', Felix said and he gently squeezed Ken's hand.

'Yeah, you're right', Ken said. 'Let's start off with small things though, like this'.

'You got it', Felix said and he smiled.

They arrived at the bus stop in Ridgeland a while later, and shortly afterwards at Ken's house. Ken got them something to drink and left the music to Felix.

'I'm going to play some chill stuff, alright?' Felix shouted to Ken.

'Whatever's fine', Ken shouted back.

Felix turned on a playlist with some ambient music, for some reason that genre had become one of his favourites as of late. He sat down at the table and Ken joined him with 2 beers a while later.

Felix took a sip from the cold bottle. 'That's the stuff. Now, where do we start. A date?'

'I guess so. Tomorrow would be best I think, but if a lot of people can't go then we can always move to Saturday, right?' Ken said.

'Yeah, that sounds like a good idea', Felix said.

'Who should we invite?', Ken asked.

'I'm glad you asked', Felix said and he put down his bottle. 'I've already invited Gaby, if that's alright. I also told her about… us'. Felix couldn't help looking down at the table, he wasn't sure if Ken liked that he gold Gaby.

'Alright, that's our first guest then!', Ken said, continuing the conversation like nothing happened. 'Didn't she live in Canada though?'

'Yeah she does', Felix said slightly relieved. 'But she has a week off right now, so she has the time'.

'Oh okay. We'll invite Brad and the other guys as well, and Ryan and Michelle of course'.

'Yeah that sounds good', Felix said. 'Now we just need to make sure we have enough food and drinks in the house'.

'No need to worry about that', Ken said and he smiled mischievously. 'My dad always has a couple of crates of beer in the shed. And we can trust Brad to bring some of the stronger stuff. We just don't have anything to eat, there is a supermarket nearby though, we could get some now?' Ken asked.

'Yeah sure', Felix said and he got up. 'I'll get to see a bit more of Ridgeland as well, should be fun'.

Ken chuckled. 'Ridgeland isn't much, trust me. But it's home.'

They walked out the front door and a few blocks later they arrived at the small supermarket. They got some potato chips and some other snacky things, and paid for their stuff at the cash desk.

'Can I hold your hand again?' Felix asked on the way back. 'It's seriously no issue if you don't want to, Ken', he said when he saw the doubtful look on Ken's face.

'Go for it', Ken said eventually, smiling nervously and Felix smiled back. He grabbed a hold of his hand. They continued walking like that for the rest of the way home. The only person they saw was a middle-aged woman who walked by and smiled kindly at the two of them.

'That wasn't too hard was it?' Felix asked when they were inside again and he winked at Ken.

'Not really no. It actually felt nice', Ken said and he blushed. They put away all of the stuff they bought and started texting and messaging people about the party.

'God, I love social media sometimes', Felix said when 2 hours later they confirmed the last guest. 'I'll text Gaby. I hope she can make it tomorrow'

 _'_ _Gaby! Ken and I planned the party for tomorrow :P Is that enough time for you?'_

Not long afterwards he received a text back.

 _'_ _Just booked my plane to Jackson ;D Text me the details later, I'll figure it out!'_

'Awesome! Gaby is coming too tomorrow', Felix said.

'Yay!', Ken said. 'Should be cool to meet her'.

'You'll get along just fine I think', Felix said. They were sitting on the couch, still listening to music while planning the last things for the party. Felix rested his head against Ken's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Ken chuckled. 'Sometimes I can't believe you've never had a boyfriend before', he said.

Felix laughed, still keeping his eyes closed. 'What makes you say that?'

'it's just…', Ken started, looking for the right words. 'You're just good at it, I guess'.

Felix smiled and was mildly startled when he felt Ken's lips touching his cheek. He sat up and looked at Ken, noticing that he had tears in the corner of his eyes.

Ken laughed and wiped the tears away with his shirt. 'I feel so stupid haha. These are tears of happiness, I swear', he said. 'I guess only now I realize how lonely I felt before'.

Felix almost got teary-eyed as well. 'Now you're making me cry', he said as he caressed Ken's cheek. He moved in closer and kissed Ken's lips, harder than he had intended. He softly put his hand on Ken's chest and felt his heart beating, fast. He knew where this could go, but Felix decided he didn't want to, not yet. Felix pulled away from Ken, and laid his head back against his shoulder. He didn't think Ken had noticed his hesitation.

'Your heart beats fast', Felix said.

'Only around you'

'I could fall asleep like this, you know', Felix said. 'But I need to head back'.

'Aww'. Felix could tell Ken didn't want him to go, which made him smile involuntarily. He got up and took his phone from the hi-fi installation. 'What did you think of the music?' he asked curiously.

'It was alright, not something I would listen to myself, but it's very relaxed', Ken said as he walked Felix to the front door.

'Fair enough. How are you feeling about tomorrow?' Felix asked when he walked outside.

'Pretty confident actually', Ken said.

'Good', Felix said and he smiled. 'I'll see you tomorrow then'.

'See you tomorrow Felix'.


	14. Chapter 14: Ken's Friends

Today was a big day, Felix knew. He was sitting in the cafeteria during a free period, working on some homework when Ryan and Michelle walked up to him.

'Hey Felix. Free period?' Michelle asked.

'Yep. Just catching up on some math homework, I was a bit behind', Felix said. 'What are you guys up to?'

'Nothing much', Ryan said. 'Looking forward to tonight's party though!'

Felix smiled. 'Me too. Just so you know, Ken is planning to come out to his friends. And tell them that we're seeing each other'. He still felt weird saying that, but weird in a good way.

'Ohhh, so it's not _just_ a party', Michelle said and winked. 'How do you think his friends will react?'

Felix bit his lip. 'I'm not sure actually. I've only met them once, at Brad's party. They all seemed like cool guys, but then again they were all pretty drunk'. He chuckled at some of the memories from that night.

Ryan laughed. 'Well they should be cool with it. And if not, I'm giving them a piece of my mind, trust me.'

Felix always appreciated Michelle's and Ryan's support. He didn't have friends like that in Sweden, he realised. The more time he spent in Mississippi, the more he started disliking Sweden. He was struck by a sudden feeling of sadness. He knew he had to leave here eventually. 'Today is not the day to get sad', he thought.

Ryan and Michelle said goodbye and Felix headed to history class which he spent next to Ken. When school was out, Ken and Felix walked to the bus stop and got on the same bus as yesterday. There were more people than yesterday, nevertheless Ken was fine with Felix holding his hand, as long as no one saw. Felix enjoyed the sun shining on his face and he almost fell asleep with his head against the window.

When they arrived at Ken's house Felix felt his phone buzzing. When he checked it he smiled at Gaby's text message.

 _'_ _Just arrived :D Now I just need the address, and I'll be fine'._

'Gaby just got here!', Felix said to Ken. 'I can't wait for you guys to meet'. He texted back:

 _'_ _yaaay :D It's Azure Road 18, Ridgeland. It's about 9 miles from Jackson, so we'll see you in a bit!'_

Ken and Felix played a few games of Melee to kill the time, and surprisingly enough Felix beat Ken most of the time. 'What's going on with you man?' Felix asked. 'Usually I get my ass kicked!'

Ken laughed. 'I don't know! It's probably the nerves', he said.

'Ha! Gaaayyyy!', Felix said and they both started laughing uncontrollably. Felix was happy Ken could take the jokes so well. They played a few more games when suddenly the bell rang. Felix jumped up and ran towards the front door, Ken running after him, still laughing.

Felix opened the door and revealed Gaby, just the same as he remembered her. Long brown hair, blue eyes and skinny in a healthy looking way. She smiled when she saw Felix and they hugged as if they had done that a hundred times before.

When they let go Gaby noticed Ken standing behind Felix. 'Hey, you must be Kenneth!' she said excitedly and she shook his hand. 'It's so nice to meet you'.

'Likewise', Ken said and smiled. 'And just call me Ken'.

Gaby pretended to faint. 'Wow, that Southern accent! I love it', she said and Ken and Felix laughed. 'He is even cuter in real life', Gaby whispered in Felix's ear as she followed him and Ken to the living room, making him blush.

The next 2 hours they spent talking. Ken and Gaby got along just fine, which Felix was very happy about. 'She's so freaking nice', he thought and he smiled.

'What?' Gaby asked amused when she saw Felix laughing.

Felix snapped out of his thoughts. 'Oh… nothing', he mumbled. 'I'm just happy to be with my two favourite peeps in the world right now'.

'The only thing that could make this moment even better…', Ken started off mysteriously. '…is food', he said and Gaby and Felix laughed. It was already getting late, so they just ordered 3 pizza's. 'They should be here within 15 minutes', Ken said after he put down the phone. 'Oh my, I'm the worst host. I haven't even asked if you want something to drink, Gaby!'

Gaby laughed. 'That's alright. I'll just have a water'.

Ken looked at Felix.

'I'll have a beer. It tastes so much better here than the stuff we have in Sweden', Felix said.

Ken went to the kitchen and a moment later he returned with a glass of water and two beers. He sat down on the couch next to Felix and gave everyone their drinks. 'I need to have more than one beer if I want to come out tonight', Ken chuckled, but Felix could hear that he was nervous.

'We'll get through this', Felix said and he ruffled Ken's hair. 'Do you want to announce it at the beginning or…?' he asked.

Ken bit his lip. 'I think near the beginning. If I'm too late everyone will be drunk, and then you don't know if they'll even remember it the next day'.

'Good point', Felix said. 'And what do you want me to do?'

'Just say something like "Ken has something to say" whenever you think is a good moment', Ken replied and he laughed. 'That way you'll give me no choice'.

Suddenly the bell rang and Ken got up. 'Yesss, pizza time!' he said and went to open the front door.

Gaby cleared her throat. 'Felix, first of all, you two are freaking cute together. Secondly, I want to say that I'm really impressed by how you're handling this. Like, seriously impressed'.

Felix blushed. 'Thanks Gaby', he said smiling.

Ken returned with three delicious looking pizza's and about 20 minutes later they had already finished them. They had half an hour left before guests would start arriving.

Ken got the beers from the shed in the garden and locked the back door. He wanted everyone to stay inside, just so he could keep an eye on everyone. In the meantime, Felix and Gaby got some bowls which they filled up with salted peanuts and potato chips. They had just finished when the bell rang.

'I'll get it!' Ken said and not long after he returned to the living room with Ryan and Michelle. Felix greeted them and introduced them to Gaby while Ken got them something to drink. They sat down on the couch and Felix put on some music. Michelle was talkative as ever and was constantly shooting questions at Gaby, who seemed rather amused by it. Ryan was his regular quiet self.

Steadily enough, the rest of the guests arrived. First Sam, then Jack and Mark, and finally Brad. Ken made sure they all had a beer and also got himself and Felix another one.

Everyone was chatting. Ken and Felix were catching up with the guys and Gaby was still enjoying a conversation with Ryan and Michelle. About an hour filled with laughter, eating and drinking later, Felix thought that it was time. He looked at Ken, trying to make eye contact. When their eyes finally met, Felix mouthed: 'Now?' He saw Ken hesitated, but then he nodded back. Felix felt his heartbeat speeding up.

'Hey, listen up everyone!' he said and Ryan turned down the music. 'Thanks Ryan. Everybody, Ken has uh… Ken has a little something to say'. He looked at Ken, who looked as if he had just seen a ghost. Felix wanted to walk over to him and hug him tightly, but he knew he couldn't right now.

'Yeah… haha… though it's actually a pretty important something', Ken said with a trembling voice, and he looked at the ground. 'You guys', he briefly glanced up at Brad, Sam, Jack and Mark, who were all looking at him with looks of curiosity, 'You guys have been my best friends for… for I don't know how long now. And I hope that what I'm about to say won't jeopardize that friendship in any way. Because… I don't want to lose any of you'. Ken took a deep breath, trying to make his voice stop shaking. Felix noticed his eyes were tearing up, and so were Ken's. 'Come on Ken, you can do this', he thought.

'Ken, what is going on?' Sam said, looking just as worried and confused as Sam, Brad and Mark.

'Guys…', Ken started. 'I'm… I'm gay'. For a few seconds the only thing Felix could hear was the music softly playing in the background.

'Bro… You're gay?!' Brad called out and Felix's heart stood still for a moment. 'But… you said it was important…' Brad said, faking disappointment. Ken carefully looked up to his friend and then Brad hugged him, followed by Mark, Jack and Sam. They all started jumping, screaming 'Woooooo!' and Felix started laughing, along with Gaby, Michelle and Ryan.

When they let go of Ken, Felix could see he was smiling. 'This is why you guys are my friends', he said.

'We freaking like you just the way you are, Ken', Mark said and the others nodded.

'But I gotta ask…', Jack started carefully. 'Is there any of us that you feel, or felt… you know…'.

'Huh?', Ken said, and then it occurred to him what Jack meant. 'Oh! No! Not at all, believe me. I totally understand the question though. But no, really'.

Brad laughed. 'Not even for me bro? I'm a little disappointed, Ken', he joked. 'Is there anyone else?'

'As a matter of fact, there is', Ken said and the others acted out a gasp. 'You all know him, actually'.

Felix felt his face becoming red. He wondered how long it'd be before they would figure it out.

'He's got blue eyes, dark blonde hair…', Ken continued. But it remained quiet.

'Oh!', Mark called out. He looked at Felix. 'Is it Felix?' he asked with a hint of disbelief in his voice.

Ken stayed silent for dramatic effect. 'You are… correct', he then said.

All the guys turned their heads towards Felix, and then ran towards him and hugged him the same way they did with Ken. Felix couldn't stop laughing the entire way through.

'So, now that that's cleared up, how about we play some beer pong?' Brad suggested.

'Yes!', the others shouted. Felix happened to suck at beer pong, but he loved the game so he always played along. Brad got the cups he brought with him and filled them up with beer, while Ryan turned the music back up.

Felix went on a team with Gaby, Ryan, Sam and Brad against Ken, Michelle, Jack and Mark. To his surprise and amazement, Ryan was by far the best at the game, and they ended up winning. They played another game but this time with shots instead of beer. Gaby and Mark didn't play along this time. Felix noticed something was going on between the two of them, and he chuckled. The second game took a lot longer to finish, as everyone was getting more drunk every time they had to take a shot. Still, Felix's team managed to win.

After the game they joined Mark and Gaby by the fire. Ken sat next to Felix on the couch and laid his head against his shoulder. Brad whistled and some of the guys made "ooohh" noises and Felix laughed. He had never seen Ken drunk before, and it was rather amusing. His accent had gotten even thicker and Felix couldn't understand some of the things he said.

Time passed and Ryan and Michelle went home, followed by Sam and Jack. Gaby and Mark were still talking, it was obvious that there was a spark between the two of them. Brad had pretty much fallen asleep on the comfy chair so Felix decided it might be time for him to go home.

'Brad', he said, giggling. No response.

'Brad!', he said louder and Brad awoke, almost falling from the chair.

'I should probably get home', he said and he chuckled. Felix and Ken walked him out. When they came back to the living room, Mark and Gaby were in the middle of a steamy kiss. 'What do we do with these two lovebirds?' Ken asked.

Felix giggled. 'Maybe Mark should go home. I can take Gaby back to campus, there is a spare room there'.

'I don't want you to go', Ken said. Felix's heart was racing, and his brain was thinking of what he could say. 'Fine, I'll stay', he spoke finally.

They escorted Mark out, who exchanged phone numbers with Gaby. 'I'll crash on the couch', she said. Ken tried to change her mind, but for some reason Gaby didn't give in. 'I'll be fine, really', she said smiling. 'Night, guys'.

Gaby went into the living room and Felix followed Ken upstairs. 'Where should I sleep?' he asked.

'My bed's big enough for the both of us', Ken said and glanced over his shoulder at Felix, who blushed. He knew what Ken wanted. And he wanted it too. He had never felt so attracted to Ken before, the alcohol was probably helping him a bit with that, but still…

They entered Ken's room and looked at each other for a split second. Slowly, Ken walked over to Felix until they were less than an inch away. He got closer and his lips met Felix's.

Felix returned the kiss, softly at first, but then more aggressively, wrapping his arms around Ken and pulling him closer. Felix had gotten used to the feeling of Ken's beard prickling his skin, but this time it felt better than before, though he wasn't sure why. He paused the kiss and studied Ken's face.

'What is it?' Ken said with a confused smile on his face.

'Your beard… It feels… better', Felix said and he rushed his hand through Ken's facial hair.

Ken chuckled. 'Guess the beard oil I bought works then. Makes it softer', he said.

'I like it', Felix said and he kissed Ken again. Half a minute later it was Ken who paused. 'Felix… do you… if you don't want to go any further, just say so', he said.

Instead of answering the question, Felix pushed Ken back so that he fell on the bed, and he took his shirt off. He crawled on top of Ken and took his off too. 'I do want to go further actually', Felix said mischievously, as he rushed his hands through the dark hair on Ken's chest. 15 minutes later, Felix laid down next to Ken on the bed, both breathing heavily. Felix turned his face to Ken's and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

'I hope you won't regret this tomorrow', Ken said.

'Pretty sure I won't', Felix replied.

Ken turned on his side, facing Felix. 'I love you', he said.

Felix stared back into Ken's beautiful, dark brown eyes. 'I love you too', he said and 10 minutes later they had fallen asleep.


	15. Chapter 15: Jackson

Felix was awoken by the light that seeped through the curtains in Ken's room. He opened his eyes and stretched out his arms and legs. He turned around and saw Ken on the other side of the bed, still sleeping. It was almost 11 am and Felix was hungry, so he decided it was late enough to wake Ken up. He crawled near him and laid his head gently against his chest. Ken mumbled softly and slowly opened his eyes.

'Moooorning', Felix said.

'Morning', Ken said as he let out a loud yawn. 'How are you feeling?'

'I'm great actually', Felix said surprised. 'I was kind of expecting a massive hangover, to be honest'.

Ken chuckled. 'Me too, but I feel fine as well. Maybe it's because of…'. Ken didn't get to finish his sentence, as there was a sudden knock on the door.

'Hey, you guys awake?' Gaby's voice sounded from the hallway. 'I've made some breakfast downstairs, if you want'. They heard her walking down the stairs again.

Ken instantly got up from the bed. 'Ohhh Gaby, you didn't have to do that! That's my job as a host!' he mumbled to himself. He put on a black robe and threw a blue one to Felix. 'Let's go have breakfast', he said.

They walked down to the living room, where Gaby was busy laying the table. 'Oh no no no no, you stop that right now, lady', Ken said and he snatched the cutlery Gaby was holding from her hand. Felix laughed at Ken's desperate attempts to out-host Gaby, because the damage had already been done.

'I'm sorry, Gaby. I'm officially the worst host in the universe, haha', Ken said laughing.

'No need to be sorry, Ken' Gaby replied kindly. 'It was no trouble at all. Now sit down both of you'.

Felix and Ken obeyed meekly while Gaby went to the kitchen and brought back three plates with delicious looking omelettes. Felix's mouth watered and he eagerly set upon the feast.

'Did you sleep well enough on the couch?' Ken asked Gaby.

'Yeah, thanks', Gaby said. 'How did you two sleep? I'm rather surprised neither of you are feeling sick, you were both pretty drunk'

'We were surprised too. But we slept great', Felix said and he glanced at Ken, who glanced back and they both couldn't help smiling. Gaby didn't notice. 'What do you want to do today, Gaby?' Felix asked.

'We could head into Jackson? I'd love to see more of it', Gaby said. She suddenly started blushing, 'and uhm… I kind of wanted to do some shopping, haha…'.

Ken laughed. 'That's fine with me, as long as we pay a visit to the gamestop on the way back, I've been dying to get my hands on Bloodborne. What do you think Felix?'

'Sounds like fun to me, let's do it', Felix responded.

They finished their meals and Ken and Felix went back upstairs to get dressed. A bit later they were off to Jackson, enjoying the Saturday afternoon sun. Felix still couldn't get over how beautiful Jackson was compared to Goteborg, where he grew up. And everyone was so damn nice as well!

'Guys! I want to check this place out for a bit!' Gaby called out to Ken and Felix.

'Another shoe store?!' Felix asked in disbelief. 'You already bought two pair at that other place!'

'So?' Gaby said with her most innocent voice and Ken laughed. He grabbed Felix by his arm and dragged him into the store.

'She's a girl, Felix, what did you expect?' Ken chuckled.

They spent a good 30 minutes in the store, and to make matters even more unbelievable for Felix, Gaby ended up buying nothing.

'Honestly, moments like these make me even happier about being with a guy', Felix said teasingly to Gaby. 'No hassle, just straight to the point'.

Gaby laughed. 'Oh I'm holding myself back, believe me. I could have easily spent another hour in that store'. They were walking down the street, when Ken got a phone call. Felix and Gaby sat down on a bench while Ken was talking a couple yards away.

'So… anything happened last night?' Gaby asked all of the sudden.

'Uh…', Felix just stuttered, caught off guard by the question. 'Yeah some stuff happened', he then said. He didn't feel very comfortable talking about that stuff, not even with Gaby. Thankfully, she got that message.

'Alright', she just said. 'By the way, Mark asked me if I wanted to go out this evening, do you think I should go?'

'Yeah! Why not? You two really hit it off last night', Felix said. 'What's holding you back?'

Gaby bit her lip. 'I'm not a fan of the long distance thing, to be honest. Though I would also have an excuse to come see you guys more often', she said. 'and…'

'and what?'

'He is cute as hell', Gaby mumbled, slightly blushing. Felix laughed. 'What? Don't you think so?' she asked.

Felix thought about it. 'Well… yeah I guess he's cute. I've realised I'm still not used to thinking about guys in that way. But I think you should go for it. Otherwise you might regret it'.

'Maybe you're right. Though you and Ken would have to get dinner by yourselves, is that okay?'

'No problem whatsoever', Felix assured her.

Ken had gotten off the phone and Felix and Gaby got up.

'My parents', Ken said smiling. 'They wanted to know how it went, and if we didn't drink all the beer'.

Felix laughed and the three of them continued their adventure in Jackson. Suddenly, Felix felt a warm hand firmly grabbing his own. He looked down and smiled when he saw that it was Ken's hand.

'Here? Around all these people?' Felix asked.

'Yeah', Ken said with confidence, though he looked a little nervous. 'Let them watch, I don't care what they think'.

'You're freaking brave, Ken', Gaby said and Ken smiled at her. They had all had enough of shopping, so they went to the park to enjoy the sunset in the grass. Felix loved parks, he enjoyed the rushing of leaves in the wind, the flowing fields of green grass and the silence.

'Gonna take some pictures?', Felix asked Gaby when he saw her getting a camera from her bag.

'Not really actually', Gaby said. 'I'm trying out this concept called vlogging. It's pretty much the same as blogging, but then with a camera involved'.

'Oh yeah, I've heard about that', Ken said. 'Are you putting it online as well?'

'Yep, on Youtube', Gaby said. 'It started off as a project for school, but I actually quite enjoy doing it'. She turned on the camera and started talking to it.

'Hey everyone. So, yesterday I arrived in Jackson Mississippi for this dude's party. Introduce yourself!' She pointed the camera at Ken.

'Heyyy I'm Kenneth', Ken said in a silly voice and Gaby and Felix laughed.

'And this is his significant other…' Gaby said as she pointed the camera at Felix.

'Yaay I'm Felix', Felix said, trying to sound as normal as possible. He wasn't great with camera's for some reason. School pictures were always the worst…

'And today I bought a whole bunch of stuff…', Gaby said to the camera. She continued talking for another 10 minutes, occasionally bringing Felix or Ken into the conversation. 'I'll see you guys later, bye!' Gaby said and she turned the camera back off.

'How many people watch those vlogs?' Felix asked.

'A few thousand, most of the time', Gaby said. 'It depends on how exciting my day has been'.

'A few thousand!' Felix exclaimed. 'That's awesome!'

Gaby laughed. 'Yeah, it really shocks me sometimes. But it's so much fun, especially reading all the nice comments and stuff'.

'You know…' Ken started.

'What?' Gaby said.

'I've had this idea in my head of also starting a Youtube channel, and then like, playing videogames while commentating over it', he said. 'But that's stupid, right?' he quickly added when Felix and Gaby didn't immediately say something.

'Hmm', Gaby said. 'It doesn't sound like anything I've seen before. But come to think of it, it shouldn't be stupid at all. I mean, we watch sports games with people commentating over it. Why not videogames?'

'Exactly!' Felix added. 'I mean, if people are able to sit though Gaby's vlogs, they should definitely be able to watch you play videogames', he joked.

'Hey! Not cool!' Gaby said but she couldn't help laughing. Ken and Felix laughed with her.

'Oh shit, I need to go if I want to be on time for my date with Mark', Gaby said after checking the time. 'I'll text you guys later, bye!'

Felix and Ken spent some more time in the park and then got some fast-food for the way back home. They got off the bus at the stop that was closest to the Gamestop, according to Ken at least. After a short walk they arrived at the store and went inside. Felix loved videogame stores. He had always had a passion for them, and for some reason just playing them had always felt like it wasn't enough. So he thought about what Ken had said. Recording himself playing videogames. 'Huh, maybe not such a bad idea', he thought.

'You want to buy anything, Felix?' Ken asked. He was already standing by the counter with a copy of Bloodborne.

Felix quickly scanned the shelves, but other than the latest Pokémon game there wasn't much that really grabbed his attention. 'Nah, I'm good, maybe another time', he said.

Ken paid for the game and they walked out of the store again. 'Man, I'm so pumped for this game, I've heard it's really good', Ken said excitedly.

'And difficult too', Felix said. 'Say Ken, about that recording stuff you were talking about, it actually sounded like fun. I know it was your idea, so if you want to say no that is absolutely no issue whatsoever, but maybe we could try giving it a go together?'

'No! I mean, yes! Ofcourse!' Ken called out. 'I didn't think you actually liked the idea, but yeah, totally!'

Felix laughed at Ken's excitement, but he was excited too. 'Yay, awesome! Let's start off with Bloodborne then!'

The rest of the night they spent on the couch together, watching TV. Gaby texted Felix that they didn't have to stay up for her, she could sleep at Mark's. At a certain point Felix fell asleep, and Ken was feeling tired too. He gently woke up Felix and they went upstairs.

'You can sleep in another room, if you want', Ken said. 'You'll have more space'.

'Your bed is fine', Felix said, followed by a loud yawn. 'And I like having you close to me'.

'I kind of hoped you'd say that', Ken said and he smiled.


	16. A MESSAGE FROM THE WRITER

Hey, this is the writer of the story speaking. I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that. It's just that I'm not sure what to do with this story...

When I started working on it, it was sort of a therapeutic thing for me. I was going through a tough time and writing the story was - believe it or not - helping me understand what I was feeling at the time. But now, I'm not struggling with myself that much anymore. I have actually been mostly happy for the past few weeks, and that's rare for me :P

The thing is this: I was having struggles which motivated me to write this story. Now that I'm feeling better, those motivations have disappeared. I honestly don't feel like continueing this story anymore. I wouldn't know how.

I do however, have 6 or 7 more chapters already written. Now my questions for the readers of this story is: Do you want me to still publish those? Or do you want me to just leave it at this? I'm sorry to have to ask this of you, but I really really can't finish this, at least not at this moment where I am just not in the right mindset... :(

I am not giving up on writing stories, and I think it's probable that I will start a different story soon, but this one is just over for me.

So yeah, let me know what you prefer. I'm deeply sorry I have to do this to you, but I see no other way :(


	17. Chapter 16: Thoughts

As sad as it was, it was time for Gaby to go back to Canada. It was 2 pm when Mark brought her back to Ken's place, so she could pick up her stuff. Felix and Ken had just been playing videogames all day, so they squinted when the sunlight first hit their eyes.

'I've known you for 2 days but I already know I'm going to miss you like crazy', Mark said to Gaby.

'I'm going to miss you too, Mark', she said and she pecked a kiss on his cheek, making him blush. 'I had so much fun last night. You have my Skype, right?'

'Yep', he replied.

Gaby hugged Ken, and then Felix. 'Thanks for inviting me Felix, I'll see you on Skype as well', she said smiling. 'And thanks Ken for the hospitality, you've been incredibly kind'.

Ken got slightly red, and nodded.

Gaby hugged Mark one last time, and then she was off, leaving the three behind in front of Ken's house.

'Want to come inside for a bit, Mark?' Ken asked.

'Yeah sure, why not?' Mark said and smiled. They went inside and Ken got them all something to drink.

'Man, Gaby is great. I've never met a girl like her', Mark said. 'Where did you two even meet?' he asked Felix.

'I met her on the plane from Sweden, actually. We were both sitting alone and I started a conversation', Felix said. 'What did you guys do last night, if you don't mind me asking?'

'Took her to an Italian restaurant. After that we weren't sure what to do, so we just strolled through the city a bit, just talking', Mark said. 'Fuck's sake, I think I'm in love with her'.

Ken laughed. 'Oh Mark, why do you always fall for the long-distance girls? Two years ago there was that Belgian girl from the grocery store, and now Gaby!'

Mark laughed sadly. 'I wish I knew, friend, I wish I knew. But I need to figure out a way to make this work somehow, I'll fly to Canada every weekend if that's what it takes!'

They talked a while longer about the situation with Gaby. Mark then had to go to work, leaving Ken and Felix alone again. Mark really felt something for Gaby, Felix had noticed. And Mark was a great guy, so he supported it. Though he couldn't help remembering what Gaby had said about not being a fan of long distance relationships. He'd talk about it with her later.

'I should get going too', Felix said. 'Haven't done any of my homework yet'.

'Yeah…. I feared something like that', Ken said.

They stood up and Ken walked Felix outside.

'I'm so freaking proud of you', Felix said as he hugged Ken tightly. 'I'll see you tomorrow'.

Ken smiled and kissed Felix on the cheek. 'Couldn't have done it without you', he said. 'Say Felix…', he said when Felix had just turned around.

'Yeah?'

'When will we tell your parents?' Ken asked.

Felix felt his stomach turning. 'I… I don't know. I can tell them via Skype, next week somewhere?' he said, trying to sound as relaxed as possible.

'We', Ken said reassuringly. 'Together'.

Felix smiled and his stomach eased a bit. 'Yeah, together'.

He then got on his journey back to campus. On the bus he thought about what Ken had said. He had talked to his parents shortly every few days, on Skype or on the phone, but he hadn't even told them about Ken yet. He felt so comfortable around his friends here, he could just be himself all he wanted, but for some reason he just couldn't get himself to tell his parents about any of the things that happened to him. But he had to tell them eventually. And if he didn't do so soon enough, he knew that it would start eating away at him, and he didn't want that. So he was grateful Ken brought it up, even though the subject scared him. 'He sees straight through me', Felix thought and he smiled.

Back at the campus, he managed to clear his mind and he started on his homework for the next day. Luckily for him, it wasn't too much work.

After that, it was time to get back into the school routine. Monday went by as fast (or slow) as always; fun with history class, boredom with chemistry class, but also good times with Ryan, Michelle and Ken. Tuesday was the same. After the first hectic weeks Felix had found somewhat of a pattern in the American school life. Sweden was so different.

It was Wednesday now, and Felix was walking through the hallways to Ryan's room. He was looking forward to seeing him and Michelle, they didn't have much homework so they'd have enough time to fuck around and talk about stuff.

'Evening guys', Felix said when he walked into the room.

'Heeey Felix!' Michelle called out. 'Good to see you buddy', Ryan said.

'Not a lot to do, huh?' Felix asked.

'Just some exercises for chemistry, I think' Ryan said an Michelle nodded. They got to work and finished within 30 minutes. 'I don't think I've ever had so little trouble with chemistry before. This chapter is easy as heck!' Ryan said after putting down his pen.

'Me neither', Michelle said. 'Well I guess we're finished then. What do you guys wanna do?'

'I… kind of wanted to ask you guys for some advice', Felix said, slightly hesitating. 'Ah you know what, never mind…' he said.

'No no no, it doesn't work like that Felix', Ryan chuckled. 'What's on your mind?'

Felix laughed nervously. 'Alright then. So Ken has come out to everyone now, and everyone here pretty much knows I'm with Ken too, but I… I haven't told my parents yet', he said. 'I've talked to them regularly, but for some reason I can't push myself to tell them. They don't even know Ken exists!'

'I don't mean to sound rude Felix, but you really shouldn't come to me for advice on these kind of things', Michelle said.

Felix remembered her story and instantly felt like a giant idiot 'Fuck, I'm so sorry Michelle. I didn't mean to sound like a dickhead', he said.

'That's alright, you didn't do it on purpose', Michelle said kindly.

'Thanks', Felix said. 'But yeah, I have to tell them, but I don't know how to even start the conversation. And I made a deal with Ken that we'd do it this week…'

'Good idea that you're doing it together. Do you think your parents will reject you?' Ryan asked.

'No, definitely not', Felix said without thinking. 'I mean… I can't imagine they would'.

'Okay, well here is my advice', Ryan began. 'Bring it up straight away. Just say something like 'mom, dad, there is something you need to know'. That way you can't turn back. And above all, keep in mind that this is _your life_. They may be your parents, but if they can't accept their child for who he is, they shouldn't have become parents to begin with. So if it becomes a worst case scenario, just hang up the phone and don't talk to them ever again'.

'I'm not sure. That's… pretty bold', Felix said, not sure what to think of Ryan's advice. He had a point, they should just accept him. But just breaking all contact if they don't…

'It's just my advice', Ryan said. 'You have to do what you think is right. I just don't want you to blame yourself if stuff goes badly'.

Felix smiled. 'Thanks Ryan, I really appreciate it'.

They spent the rest of the evening eating pizza, watching TV and playing silly videogames online. Felix felt a bit better after talking about the situation with his parents, but it was still on his mind. He felt sad when he thought about Ken. 'He must have been trapped in this exact feeling for years', he thought. 'I can't even imagine what that'd be like…'

It was pretty late when Felix said goodbye to Michelle and Ryan. He checked his phone while walking back to his room and noticed that he had received a text from Ken.

 _'_ _You got time for you-know-what tomorrow? X'_

Felix smiled at the little 'x' in the end and texted back.

 _'_ _Yeah, after school? Otherwise my parents will be sleeping I think. X'_

Felix had just turned off the lamp beside his bed when he got another text.

 _'_ _Sure. Sleep well :)'_

Felix yawned and sent back one final text.

 _'_ _You too Ken :)'_


	18. Chapter 17: Felix's Parents

Felix was feeling nauseous when he woke up that day. He knew why. He'd experienced it before. Back in Sweden he had guitar lessons, and every time he would have to perform in front of people he'd feel horrible beforehand. For some reason being extremely nervous always had him feeling sick, sometimes he even threw up. 'Not today', Felix thought to himself. 'Come on, Ken did it too'. He skipped breakfast, unable to make himself eat anything.

'Geez Felix, you look dreadful!' Ken said when Felix sat next to him in class.

'Thanks for the confidence boost, Ken', Felix said sarcastically. He rushed a hand through his hair, trying to make it look at least somewhat presentable.

'Sorry', Ken chuckled. 'Is it because of…'

Felix turned to face Ken. 'Yeah. I don't know why this is affecting me so much. I mean, compared to what you went through, this should be nothing…', he said.

'Don't say that', Ken said and he gave Felix a penetrating look, making Felix turn away. 'It would be weird if you weren't nervous, Felix. Just remember that we'll get through this, together'.

'I just hope I don't throw up during the skype call', Felix joked, and Ken laughed.

The rest of the classes that day went by much faster than Felix wanted. Before he knew it, it was his last class, and he was sitting next to Ryan. Over the day, his nausea had somewhat faded, but now it was coming back again.

'You okay Felix?' Ryan asked. 'You don't look uh… like you normally do'.

'Nice save', Felix sniggered. 'I've just felt sick all day at the prospects of having to talk to my parents about meaningful things'.

Ryan laughed. 'You'll do just fine, I know it. And you've got Ken to back you up, right?'

'Fortunately I do', Felix thought contently.

An hour later, Felix walked back to his room, where Ken was already waiting for him. Felix gave him a quick kiss, and opened the door for the two of them. Ken sat down on the bed and Felix sat down next to him.

'So, how do you want to go about this?' Ken asked.

Felix bit his lip and thought about Ryan's advice. 'Let's just cut to the chase right away. I'm just going to introduce you and tell them that you're my boyfriend. And if they don't like it… Well, that's their problem then', he said.

'Whatever you say', Ken said. 'How do you think they will react?'

Felix caught himself wanting to say something like 'They won't mind'. But in all honesty he wasn't sure at all. He felt guilty, like it was his fault that he had so much trouble telling his parents. And it was, of course, but he felt like the problem had more roots than just nervousness. He felt like the relationship with his parents had become almost superficial over the past few years.

'I have honestly no idea', he said to Ken, who seemed somewhat saddened by hearing Felix say that. 'But there is only one way to find out…'

Felix turned on his pc and texted his mom.

 _'_ _Mom have you and dad got time to Skype? Need to talk.'_

Felix secretly hoped that she wouldn't text back, but in the back of his mind he knew that it would only get more difficult if he waited longer. His nausea had surprisingly disappeared, but now he was shaking and sweating, which wasn't that much better.

 _'_ _Of course honey, give us a second!'_ the text from his mom read.

Felix started up Skype and waited till his mom was online.

'Ready?' Ken asked.

'Nope', Felix said and he smiled anxiously. He called his mom and waited for her to pick up.

 _'_ _Good evening honey!'_ she said happily as always when she picked up. _'Hi Felix',_ his dad said. _'How are you doing over there?'_

'Hi dad, hi mom', Felix said, trying to sound as normal as possible. 'It's fine over here, but that's uh… not really why I called'.

His mom immediately sensed something was going on. _'What's wrong, Felix?'_

'Well, first of all I want you to meet Kenneth, he is a fr- I uh… met him here at school', Felix said.

'Good evening Mr and Mrs Kjellberg, it's nice to meet you', Ken said kindly into the microphone.

' _Nice to meet you Kenneth_ ', Felix's dad said kindly, followed by his mom who said the same thing.

'Mom, dad, I haven't been truly honest with you for the past few weeks', Felix began. His voice was trembling like crazy now, but he couldn't help it. 'The reason that I brought Ken with me today is that…', he continued, but he stopped mid-sentence. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He felt Ken gently squeezing his hand. He had to go on, he just had to. So Felix opened his eyes again.

 _'_ _Are you still there, Felix?'_ his dad said.

'Yeah', Felix said, with a more steady voice now. 'The reason I brought Ken with me today, is that I want you to know that… that he is my boyfriend'. The silence that followed was the longest, most nerve-racking one that Felix had ever experienced.

 _'_ _Excuse me, Felix? I didn't… quite catch that, I think'_ , Felix's mom said.

Felix shivered at the tone of her voice, he didn't like it. 'Ken is my boyfriend', he simply repeated. Another silence followed.

 _'_ _We know you're not gay, Felix. This is just a phase, you'll get through it',_ Felix's dad said calmly. _'It's alright that you're confused, it's just the hormones. But you shouldn't be getting into a relationship with another guy, no offense to Kenneth'_.

Felix didn't know what to say. His heart was racing, his thoughts were all over the place. Instead, it was Ken who responded.

'No offense?' Ken said, sounding slightly annoyed. 'How can I not be offended? You just discouraged your son from getting into a relationship with me, despite not knowing me at all'.

 _'_ _You're probably very nice, Ken, I don't doubt that for a second. We just don't support our son being involved with the gay lifestyle',_ Felix's mom said, trying to sound kind.

Felix couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this really happening? He was feeling dizzy, like he was going to pass out. And he still wasn't able to say a word.

'Excuse me?' Ken said, sounding angry now. 'Please listen to me Mr and Mrs Kjellberg. There is no such thing as "the gay lifestyle". It simply doesn't exist. I admit there are homosexuals who behave in an extremist way and reinforce the stereotype, but that doesn't mean that all gay people are like that', he said. 'And even if they were, why would you care?'

 _'_ _Why would I care? Because it is not right, that's why',_ Felix's dad said, who also started to sound angry. ' _We know our Felix better than you ever will, and if he had talked to us about this sooner he would have known that it is just puberty that's making him feel this way'._

Ken let go of Felix hand, not paying attention to him anymore. He was furious. 'Oh it's not right, huh? So you think I chose to be the way I am? If so, then please, please tell me why on earth I chose to be attracted to men. Please tell me why I would choose for something that would only result in hardship, depression and anxiety for the rest of my life'.

The other end of the call went quiet for a while.

 _'_ _We will talk about this later, Felix, alone. Your father and I are just… very tired now'._

The bleep sound that followed indicated that the call had ended.

Felix was slowly regaining control over his mind, which was overcome by an intense feeling of sadness. Ken stood up and walked over to the window.

'I can't believe them', he said, still furious. 'How can they be so incredibly obnoxious?!'

'I… I don't know', Felix said with a soft, raspy voice. Talking felt unnatural, he didn't want to talk ever again.

Ken sighed and sat back down next to Felix. 'I'm sorry for getting so angry, that wasn't… necessary', he said.

Felix smiled faintly. Even though he stood up for Felix, Ken sincerely felt like he had to apologise for his actions. 'No apology needed, Ken', Felix said. 'Thanks for standing up for me when I couldn't. I just couldn't think'.

Ken put his arm around Felix's neck and Felix rested his head against Ken's shoulder. 'What the heck do I do now…', Felix said. 'Should I give them another chance?'

'Yeah', Ken said to Felix's surprise. 'Maybe they just need to hear from you how you think about it'.

'Alright', Felix said. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and before he knew it he was crying. He had never felt such intense sadness, pain even. Ken cried with him.

After a while, Ken went to the cafeteria to get them both a pizza. Felix wasn't hungry, but he knew he had to eat. They watched a series on the computer, and Felix tried to have fun, but he couldn't. He decided to update Gaby on the situation.

 _'_ _Parents were a-holes :( Will tell more tomorrow'_

 _'_ _Noooo :( :( I'm here for you Felix, always!'_

Felix appreciated her words, but it didn't help much. He wanted to go to bed, sleep this whole thing off if he could. Maybe he'd feel better in the morning. But he didn't want Ken to leave.

'Ken', Felix said. 'Can you… stay with me, tonight?'

Ken looked at him, his eyes full of compassion. 'Of course, Felix', he said with a deep voice.

They quietly got into bed together and Felix turned off the lights. Felix didn't know if he'd be able to sleep, but he was glad Ken was with him. He didn't know what he would do if he was alone right now.

'I think I'll call in sick tomorrow', Felix whispered.

'Me too, then', Ken said.

Felix smiled. 'Thanks, Ken. For everything'.

Ken kissed Felix's neck. 'No need to thank me', he said.


	19. Chapter 18: Aftershock

The next day Ken got up early to call in sick for both him and Felix. After that, neither of them left the room till it was late in the afternoon, when Ken had to head home. Felix was still sad, but he felt like he had his thoughts organised better. They had talked all day about Felix's possibilities, and Felix knew that Ken was right, he had to give his parents a second chance. It would be terrifying to talk to them again though… 'I have to do it on my own this time', Felix thought. 'And I want to get this over with as soon as possible'.

It was already evening when Felix turned on Skype. Gaby and Ken were both online, and so was his mom. His heart jumped when she sent him a message.

 _'_ _Felix, we need to talk about last night. Alone, preferably.'_.

Felix was angry at her. Did she even have any idea how much she and dad hurt his feelings?

 _'_ _Fine. I'll call when I'm ready',_ he sent back, hoping the bitter undertone would shine through.

He then called Gaby and Ken, both picked up almost instantaneously.

 _'_ _Hey Felix…',_ Gaby said. _'And Ken. I'm so so sorry about last night…'_

'yeah…', Ken said. 'It didn't really go as planned. How are you holding up Felix?'

'I'm okay', Felix said. 'It still feels a little unreal, if I'm honest… My mom already wants to talk again, and I kind of want to as well. I'm just scared of what she's going to say'.

'What did she say yesterday, actually? If you even want to talk about it', Gaby asked.

Ken answered her question. 'She said she didn't support Felix being involved with the gay lifestyle. And his dad just said that he wasn't gay, that it was just the hormones, and that it wasn't natural to begin with'.

'Are you serious? That's… terrible', Gaby said. 'Jesus Felix, are you sure you can do this on your own?'

'I have to', Felix said, more to himself than to Gaby and Ken. Again, he remembered Ryan's words, and he knew that was what he had to do. There was no point in having parents that didn't accept you for who you are. So, if it were to become clear enough that his mother wouldn't accept him… It'd be over. He wouldn't have a mom anymore. He would never go back home again, never.

'Wish me luck, guys', Felix said to Ken and Gaby, and they did. He then ended the call and called his mother. This was it. His heart was racing again and he was sweating, just like last night. But he was feeling strangely confident, too.

'Felix', his mom said when she picked up. 'Listen to me…'

'No mom, you listen to me', Felix said calmly. 'What happened last night was not okay. I can't believe you were so… so cruel. Not just to me, but to Ken especially. Have you any idea what he has been through the past few years? He has been living with a constant fear of being himself, because there was a chance it would result in him being rejected by the people he loved. He has finally come out, and accepted himself, and then you and dad bring him down like that. You need to apologise'.

Silence on the other end. 'Please mom, please do the right thing here', Felix prayed in his mind. Whatever his mom would say now would be decisive.

'Felix, it's great for Kenneth that he finally came to terms with himself. But me and your father don't want you to see him anymore. Kenneth can't help that he turned out this way, it was his environment that made him this way, we know that, but we don't want you to be influenced by him'.

The way she said it made Felix sick, and furious. He couldn't believe what she was saying, how careless she was being, how disrespectful she was being. 'If that's really how you think mom', Felix began. 'Then I don't ever want to talk to you again, not ever', he concluded, ready to end the call.

'Don't say that, Felix', his mom said with a shocked voice, so he waited. 'We can work this out together, if you come home we can fix this together and-'

'Are you even listening to yourself?!', Felix called out, letting out all his anger. 'How do you not fucking get this?!'

'Watch your language, Felix!' his mom interrupted him strictly.

Felix laughed. 'I say whatever the fuck I want, mom', he said. 'If you can't even apologise to Ken for what you said, then I'm never talking to you again, or dad. Ken has made me happier than I've ever been, and you can't even be happy for me? Who cares that I'm a guy and he is a guy? We make each other happy and we're not hurting anyone by doing that! And the argument about it being unnatural? Fuck off. I know you and dad are Christians, but I never knew you were so prejudiced when it comes to homosexuality. It's fucking pathetic, that's what it is'.

'Calm down, Felix. There is no need to get so angry', his mom said, her voice shaking. Was she going to… cry? Felix didn't care, he was completely engulfed by his anger.

'No need?! There most certainly is, actually. You and dad need to be lectured on how to be better people, and most of all on how to be better parents. You both disgust me. As long as you can't accept me for who I am, and apologise for what you said, I don't want anything to do with you. And I won't be coming home. Bye, mom', Felix said and he clicked away the call. Straight afterwards he blocked his mother from Skype and removed her from Facebook. He wasn't even aware of half the things he was doing, that's how angry he was. He needed fresh air.

Once outside in the sun, Felix's anger faded somewhat. He didn't know where to go, so he just wandered the school grounds. Suddenly Felix fell to his knees. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He felt like he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

'Felix, what's going on?'

It was Mr Henderson, Felix's history teacher.

Felix felt like an idiot, crying out in the open. He stood up and made a hopeless attempt to play it cool.

'Oh… it's uh… nothing, Mr Henderson. Nothing at all'.

Mr Henderson wasn't even remotely convinced. 'Now we both know that's not true, Felix. Come with me to my office, we can talk there'.

Without waiting for a response he guided Felix to a small room besides the history classroom. Felix's legs were shaking and he felt light-headed, making the journey to the room a surreal experience. He sat down and Mr Henderson got him a glass of water.

'Please start from the beginning, please Felix', Mr Henderson said kindly.

Felix have himself a few seconds to think. Where even was the beginning?

'Okay', he started, his voice still shivering. 'I don't know if you heard… but a while ago I started uh… dating Ken. Uhm, Kenneth I mean'.

Mr Henderson raised an eyebrow. 'Oh, I most definitely haven't heard actually. I must say I'm rather surprised, neither of you struck me as gay'.

'I don't think I am', Felix said softly. 'Ken is, but I think I'm bisexual. I've had feelings for girls before, you see… Ken is the first guy…'

'I see', Mr Henderson said. 'Well firstly I want you to know that I have no issue with that at all. Were you crying because you had a fight with him?'

'No, that's not it', Felix said. His voice was getting steadier, thankfully. 'I had a fight with my mom actually, over Skype. She's not… happy about my relationship with Ken'.

Mr Henderson sighed. 'I'm very sorry to hear that, Felix, truly. What were her arguments?'

'The usual', Felix chuckled bitterly. 'It isn't natural because God put a man and a woman on this earth, blabla. She told me to come back home so we… so we could fix it together. I told her I didn't want to see or talk to her ever again'. He felt his anger returning when thinking back to his mother's words.

'I think that was a very courageous thing to do, Felix', Mr Henderson said to Felix's surprise. He had expected him to disagree with Felix's decision, and encourage him to give his mom yet another chance. 'You know, I've been through a similar thing when I was your age', Mr Henderson said.

Felix looked up, slightly confused. 'Did you… come out to your parents too, Sir?' he asked.

Mr Henderson chuckled lightly. 'No, that's not it. You see, I fell in love with a girl from the Middle-East. She was a Muslim and my parents were strict Christians. They disapproved of our relationship. I got into a fight with my dad and I broke his nose', he said.

Felix stared at Mr Henderson with his mouth wide open. 'And now?' he asked when he came back to his senses.

'The girl is now my wife and we have 2 beautiful children', Mr Henderson said triumphantly. 'Since a few years I've been talking to my parents again'. He leaned forward and Felix looked at him. 'I'll get to the point now', Mr Henderson said and Felix chuckled. 'Don't underestimate the power of love, as cheesy as it may sound. You may have temporarily lost your parent's love, but you have gained Kenneth's. I hope you two will be very happy together', he said with a warm smile.

Felix smiled too. 'I will keep it in mind', he said.

Mr Henderson leaned back into his chair again. 'You'll have to leave me to my work now though, Felix. Lots of tests to check. But know that you can always talk to me'.

'Thanks sir, I really appreciate that', Felix said and he got and left the office. When he fell asleep that night he felt a lot better, strangely enough.


	20. Chapter 19: Turnaround

The week after that, Felix went to school again. Michelle, Ryan and to his surprise even some students he barely knew, all came to him to show their support for the situation with his parents. He even received a few texts from Ken's friends about how sorry they were to hear about what had happened, and how they supported him fully.

'I don't need my parents', Felix thought happily. 'Everyone I love is right here with me'. It was Friday now, and Felix was on his way to Ken's place. They were finally going to set up the YouTube channel they had been talking about, and Felix was excited.

Ken opened the door and gave Felix a kiss.

'Hey you', Felix said. He put away his coat and said hi to Mr and Mrs Morrison, who were as kind as ever. Ken got them something to drink and they went upstairs. Felix enjoyed Ken's room. It smelled like him and was full of nerdy videogame-stuff.

'Alright, then', Ken said. 'Let's see how this works. Ah, we first need a name for our channel'. He looked at Felix. 'You know anything good?'

'Hmm…', Felix began as he searched through his brain for inspiration. 'How about we use our nicknames?'

Ken looked surprised. 'I didn't even know you had one!' he called out.

Felix chuckled. 'My dad used to call me Pewds', he said. Naming his dad didn't even make him feel weird. 'I don't even know where it came from, but I think it sounds funny'.

'Pewds…', Ken said, to test how it sounded. 'Yeah I think that works! My nickname is just Ken though…'.

'So what? How about we call it 'Ken & Pewds'? That has a nice ring to it, right?' Felix proposed.

'Yeah…', Ken said. 'Yeah, that's good one', he said excitedly and he turned to the computer and started typing. About 15 minutes later they were finished, all they needed now was a profile picture and a banner, and then they were good to go.

'I'm sure we can ask Ryan and Michelle to make us a logo or something, if they have time in between their art projects', Felix suggested and Ken agreed. As there was nothing else to do, and it was Friday, they called up some of their friends to hang out. Ryan and Michelle were, as always, busy with art stuff, but Mark and Sam were available.

' _You guys come over to my place, I'm home alone',_ Sam had texted.

'Alright, see you in a bit', Ken texted back, and he and Felix went downstairs.

'Where are you going Kenneth?', Ken's mother called from the living room.

'We're going to chill at Sam's, I'll be home before 2', Ken called back.

'That's alright, have fun dear!'.

Felix grabbed his coat and followed Ken outside, it was slowly starting to get darker outside. By the looks of the sky, maybe it was even going to rain.

'Where does Sam live?', Felix asked.

'A bit further downtown, 10 minute walk', Ken said.

After walking for about 30 seconds, Ken got a hold of Felix's hand. Felix smiled, Ken had become so open, especially after last week with Felix's parents. It was almost like it had given him a confidence boost.

5 minutes later a car passed them with some guys who looked like they were begin-twenties. They had loud house music blasting in the car and when they passed Ken and Felix they heard one of them yell 'faggots'. Ken sighed. 'I feel so sorry for those people', he said.

'Don't be too hard on them Ken, they're probably just sexually frustrated', Felix joked and Ken laughed.

A bit later they arrived at Sam's place, a more narrow but longer house than Ken's. Before it was a small front yard with a pond and lots of bushes full of beautiful flowers.

'Sam's parents own a flower shop', Ken explained when he saw Felix looking.

They hadn't even arrived at the door yet when Sam opened it. 'Hey guys! Come on in!', he said.

Inside it was almost like walking through a garden. There were vases everywhere with different flowers and all the paintings were centred around flowers too.

'Don't mind all this crap', Sam said when he saw Felix's face. 'My parents are botanists and own a flower shop'.

'I think it's awesome', Felix said.

They followed Sam to the back yard, where Mark was already sitting with a beer in his hand and his phone in the other. He looked up when Felix and Ken walked outside. 'Hey dudes!' he said cheerfully.

'You sure sound happy', Ken chuckled. 'Something going on?'

Mark leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms. 'Does a man need a specific reason to be happy?', he asked rhetorically.

'Does a man need to close his fly?' Felix asked when he noticed Mark's fly was open.

Mark flinched out of position and quickly zipped up, while Ken, Sam and Felix were dying of laughter. Mark blushed and laughed too. Sam got Ken and Felix a beer and they sat down. Mark was on his phone again, giggling every now and then.

'Jesus Mark, what's on your phone that's so much more fun than your friends?', Sam asked.

'Hmm?', Mark said when he looked up. 'Oh, sorry. It was just something funny that… uh… someone sent me', he said.

Felix laughed. 'You were talking to Gaby, weren't you?'

Mark sighed. 'You read my mind, Felix. She is just… I mean… there is just something… I… think I love her', Mark said after stuttering for 10 seconds. It was so funny, he looked like he was just discovering the existence of girls for the first time.

'Don't laugh!', Mark said indignantly when Ken and Sam were hysterically laughing again. 'I'm going to fly over to Vancouver in a few weeks, when we have holiday'.

'Sorry Mark', Ken said after he settled down, wiping the tears from his eyes. 'You're just so funny when you're in love', he said.

Mark blushed again. 'Thanks, I guess', he said.

'Alright, how about we play some cards?' Sam suggested and he produced a deck of playing cards from under the small table.

'Good idea', Felix said.

They started playing President, a famous drinking game with cards. Felix hadn't played it in forever, so he was preparing to get his ass kicked. After a few times losing, he was beginning to remember how he used to play the game, and slowly but steadily Felix started to win more and more.

'Shit! Was that a raindrop?' Sam said and he looked up to the sky, which answered him with a flash of lightning and loud thunder. 'Crap, let's get inside', he said.

A minute later they were inside, and right on time, because it had started pouring outside.

'Phew, that was close!' Ken said.

They continued playing, probably longer than they should have, because by the time it was 1 am everyone had had at least 4 beers, except Ken, who obviously had the most experience playing President.

'Dang, my parents are heading home now', Sam said after he checked his phone. 'You guys had better go', he said to Mark, Felix and Ken.

'Yeah… I still need to get back to campus anyways', Felix said. 'Can you bring me, Ken?', he asked with his sweetest voice.

'Fine', Ken chuckled. 'But only because it's raining outside', he said. 'And I don't want you to get a cold'.

'Awww', Sam and Mark cooed.

A bit later, Mark had left for home and Felix stepped into Ken's car. They had to walk through the rain from Sam's house to Ken's, but luckily Sam had given them an umbrella, so it wasn't too bad. Felix felt strange, there hadn't been any rain, let alone thunder, at all while he had been in America. It was so sudden.

Ken was humming softly while driving, when they approached a green stoplight. About 15 meters before they passed it, it turned to orange.

'Darn', Ken said and he lowered the car's speed.

'You can make that easily!' Felix said.

Ken accelerated and they drove past the stoplight just when it was still orange.

'Told you', Felix said triumphantly. He then felt a blinding light entering his eyes from the window to his side. He turned his head and saw 2 headlights nearing towards the car. His heart jumped and all he heard was a loud bang before everything went black and quiet.


	21. Chapter 20: Funeral

Michelle sighed and picked out a black dress from her closet. She didn't like wearing black, it wasn't her colour. But that didn't matter now, nothing mattered. She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

'Michelle? Are you alright?' a muffled voice sounded from the other side of her room's door.

'Yeah, fine', Michelle said. 'I'll be there in a sec'.

10 minutes later she was in the car next to Ryan. She had never seen him wearing a suit, and he looked a little uncomfortable in it. For the entire drive they didn't say a word to each other. When they arrived at the church in Jackson, they both got out of the car.

But Michelle couldn't move any further. 'I'm such a mess', she said, laughing nervously.

Ryan stood in front of her. 'Look at me, Michelle', he said. 'I know he meant the world to you. But… he's in a better place now. And I know it's still early, and I'm not saying you shouldn't be mourning, but he'd want you to move on at some point, you know that'.

Michelle looked at Ryan. 'You're right', she said softly. Ryan held her arm as they walked onwards.

After a while, everyone was seated in the church. Ryan and Michelle were sitting in the middle. Then, a woman stood up from the front row and walked forward. She was wearing a beautiful dark grey dress made of silk, and she had long, curling hair, black as the night. She turned around and faced the mass of people.

'Today', she begun with a strong, loud voice. 'We are here to remember a man, a friend, a husband, a mentor and a teacher', she continued slowly. 'Today, exactly one week ago, my husband William Henderson, was stabbed in an alleyway, after he saved a young girl from being raped by two older men'.

The silence in the church was almost unbearable. Michelle wanted to get out of here. She wanted to hide out, never to return to the real world.

'And even though…', the woman continued, struggling to hold back her tears. 'And even though the world may have been cruel that day, we have to be thankful for all the years that we got to spend with this wonderful person. For I am sure that he has inspired, motivated, comforted or helped every single person in this church today. Because that was all he wanted to do. Help others in every possible way he could'.

Michelle felt the tears streaming down her face. Ryan put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her a bit closer so she could rest her head against his shoulder. To her surprise she noticed Ryan was crying too.

'…And if there is anything that he would want from any of us after today', Mrs Henderson said, 'it is that we all move on. Thank you all so much for coming today, he would have been so humbled'.

Ryan and Michelle didn't stay long after the funeral was over. Even though it had been a week, Michelle still hoped that she would eventually wake up, that it would all turn out to have been a nightmare.

A week and one day ago, Ryan had suddenly walked into her room, saying that Felix and Ken had been in a car accident. Ken 'just' had some scratches and bruises, but Felix was in bad shape. He had broken ribs, a broken arm and a collapsed lung. But worst of all, he was in a coma.

The day afterwards, it got even worse. All history classes from Mr Henderson were cancelled, and everyone just presumed he was ill or something. But then the principal came into class and told them that Mr Henderson had been murdered. Stabbed by two cowards who tried to rape a young girl. He was found in an alley, severely bleeding. He died while he was in the ambulance. And the day after that, as if it couldn't get any worse, Ken disappeared. And no one had heard from him since then. There were 'missing'-posters all over Jackson, and the police were looking all over for him, but it was like Ken had left the face of the earth.

And Felix still hadn't woken up.

 _ONE MONTH LATER_

Brad put down the newspaper. Somewhere he hoped that the police would have found something about Ken's whereabouts. About a month ago, Ken had arrived on his doorstep, begging if he could stay with him. Brad wasn't sure what to do, but after what Ken had been through he had to let him in. Ken asked him if he could keep it a secret that he was there, and Brad even agreed with that. He was starting to regret that now. Ken was depressed, all the time, and Brad had tried everything to cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work. Brad hated to see his friend like that, it had to stop.

Brad stood up and walked to the spare bedroom of the apartment.

'Ken, you awake?' he whispered into the room.

'Yeah', he heard Ken say, so he entered the room. It was the same as every day, the curtains were closed and Ken was lying on the bed, facing away from the door.

Brad sighed and sat down on the bed.

'Ken, seriously bro… This has to stop… I can't take this anymore', Brad said. To his surprise he suddenly felt a big lump in his throat. 'Everyone is worried about you, and I don't know if I can cover for you any longer. Your parents need you Ken, and Felix needs you!'

Ken cowered when Brad named Felix. 'Please don't…', he said with a raspy voice.

'Just talk to me, Ken, please! Talk!' Brad shouted, startling Ken but also himself.

'I'm sorry, Brad', Ken said softly. 'I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend, for putting you in this position. I'm fucking hopeless… It's all my fault that this happened. I shouldn't have listened to him…'.

'Stop saying that Ken', Brad said. 'It's NOT your fault. That truck driver wasn't paying attention and jumped the lights. You drove through an orange light, so it's not your fault'.

'Hmm…', Ken just said. 'But I can't go see him, not yet'.

'Why? Because his parents are with him? I'll go with you if you're scared. I know they weren't particularly… thrilled… when they found out about you and Felix', Brad offered.

Ken looked at him. 'Would you do that for me?'

'Of course bro!' Brad called out. 'Anything to get you out of the house again'.

'I don't know… Everyone will be so angry with me for leaving without saying anything. My parents… I don't know if…', Ken started, but Brad cut him off.

'Angry? They'll be fucking happier than ever if they see you again!' he said.

'You don't know that', Ken mumbled.

'Yes I do', Brad said. 'I've been making excuses every time someone asked me if I knew where you were. And that has happened a lot. Everyone is so worried about you Ken, no one is angry. They just want you back'.

'Fine', Ken said after a long silence. 'We'll go tomorrow'.

Brad stood up and smiled. 'Thanks, Ken', he said.


	22. Chapter 21: Reunited

Waking up was always the worst part. As soon as he opened his eyes, reality struck him like lightning. Felix was in a coma and Mr Henderson was murdered. Only today felt different, but Ken knew why. He had promised Brad that they'd go visit Felix, and go to the police to explain everything about his whereabouts. All Ken could do was worry. What if the police would get angry with Brad for covering for him? And his parents, how would they react? And Felix… Ken felt tears welling up in his eyes. All he had wanted to do for the past month was visit him, but he was so scared. On the day that Mr Henderson died, Ken had overheard the nurses talking about Felix's parents, who were supposedly coming to the hospital. So he left Felix. And he had never felt more terrible.

He checked the time. 10 am. 'I should get dressed I guess', Ken thought. 'I haven't changed clothes in 2 weeks or something, fucking pathetic…'. A bit later he walked out to the kitchen, where Brad was already having breakfast.

'Hey! Ken, whoa! I didn't expect you so… early. You usually only get up around 1 or so', Brad called out surprised. 'I would have made you breakfast…'

Ken tried to smile. 'Yeah, just couldn't get back to sleep. And don't worry about the breakfast, I'm not hungry anyway'.

Brad looked at him for a few seconds, before saying: 'Don't be weird bro. You have to eat. Here, take this piece of toast at least'. Brad got the piece from his plate and held it in front of Ken.

'Oh no, that's fine, that was yours anyway', Ken said, but Brad didn't pull back the toast.

'It wasn't a question, my friend', he said.

Ken reluctantly took the toast from Brad and started nibbling. It was actually really good and he felt bad for refusing at first.

'So, how do you want to do this?' Brad asked after a quiet breakfast.

'Should we go to the police station first? Maybe they'll recognise me at the hospital', Ken said.

Brad chuckled. 'Trust me Ken, with that beard you grew, I'm pretty sure you won't be recognised'.

Ken hadn't shaved for over a month, and his beard had grown out long. It was looking a bit shabby, but Ken didn't feel like shaving it for some reason.

'Alright. Let's go see… Felix first then', Ken said. He hated how he had trouble saying Felix's name. It always brought him back to that night, when it happened.

'And if his parents are there?' Brad asked.

'We uh… could always go back later, right?' Ken said, avoiding Brad's look. He knew Brad would think differently.

'We could. But we won't. Come on, what happened to the confident Ken? The Ken that stood up for his boyfriend when his parents were assholes? And you know I'll back you up, you're not alone'.

'Was there ever a confident me?', Ken thought to himself. 'Hah… fine then', he just mumbled.

Brad stood up and got his car keys. 'Let's go then!' he said cheerfully.

Ken was too nervous to even try to be cheerful. He got a hoodie on so he could cover his head a bit, and they went outside. When the mild outside air first hit Ken's face, for a short moment he felt happy. 'I missed this', he said, and Brad smiled at him. They got into the car and a 15 minute drive later, they arrived at Jackson hospital.

'Excuse me, we're looking for Felix… uh… Kjellberg', Brad said to a nurse. Ken couldn't help chuckling at Brad's pronunciation of Felix's last name, even though he still had trouble with it himself.

'If you take the elevator over here to the third floor, and then go right, he is in the last room on the left', she said after checking the computer.

Brad and Ken got into the elevator together, and Brad pushed the button. Ken was starting to sweat. 'This is even worse than coming out to my friends, much worse', he thought. The elevator dinged and Brad got out, but Ken couldn't move.

'Brad… I don't know if… I can't do this', Ken said, suddenly regretting his decision to come here. He was starting to panic, his breathing was getting heavier and he felt himself shaking all over.

Brad walked back into the elevator and got a hold of Ken's shoulders. 'Ken, look at me', he said. 'You can do this. I'm here with you, it'll be fine, I promise. Now just focus on your breathing, calm down'.

Ken did what he was told and surprisingly enough it helped quickly.

'You alright bro?' Brad asked. Ken confirmed by nodding.

They got out of the elevator and took a right turn. Ken still recognised the hallway. It was so quiet. The walk to Felix's room was way shorter than Ken had hoped. His heart was racing but his breathing was still relatively steady. He heard muffled voiced on the other side of the door and his heart jumped.

Ken looked over his shoulder at Brad. 'Fuck, there's people with him', he said.

'You want me to go first?' Brad asked.

'Yeah', Ken said. He got out of the way and let Brad go inside the room. For a good 30 seconds he heard talking, but he couldn't make up the words. 'What the heck are they doing in there?' Ken thought.

Suddenly the door opened a bit and Brad appeared. 'You're good to go', he said. 'Trust me'.

Ken wasn't sure for a second but there was something about Brad's face that gave him the impression that it was alright. He slowly opened the door further and walked in the room.

'KEN!' he heard someone yelling loudly and before he knew it he was in a tight embrace with Gaby.

'I've been so worried about you', Gaby said smiling when she let go of Ken. 'I'm so glad you're alright! We thought… well we didn't know what to think!' She hugged him again and Ken still didn't say anything. Of all the people he somehow hadn't expected to see Gaby here. But when he thought about it, it actually made perfect sense that she'd come to see Felix.

'I'm… I'm so sorry for leaving…', Ken said with a raspy voice when he regained control over his speech.

Gaby waved it away immediately. 'I totally understand, believe me, I do. I'm just so glad you're okay'. She noticed Ken looking at the curtain behind them. The curtain before Felix's bed.

'Do you want to be alone with him for a bit?' she asked him calmly. 'We'll catch up later'.

'Yeah', Ken said. 'That'd be nice, thanks. But I'm really glad to see you Gaby'.

She smiled. 'I'll be outside with Brad'.

They left the room and everything went quiet. Ken was still standing in the middle of the room, not able to see Felix. He felt tears welling up in his eyes and he slowly started walking towards the bed. When he walked around it he gasped for air and almost fell to the ground. Felix looked like he was just sleeping.

'Look at me', Ken chuckled through his tears. 'Crying like a real man'. He walked towards the bed and sat down on the bed. In his coma, Felix had grown a bit of a stubble, and the bruises and cuts on his face had healed. All in all, he _looked_ pretty healthy.

'I'm so sorry for not coming sooner', Ken said. 'I was so scared, and then Mr Henderson died, and I just… I'm the worst boyfriend ever', he concluded.

He told Felix about everything that had happened since the accident. About all the news stories that he had picked up on, about the movies he had seen with Brad and that their Youtube channel already had 7 subscribers, despite it having no videos.

'I can't go on without you', Ken whispered, trying to hold back his tears again. 'If you don't wake up soon I'll never stop crying', he joked sadly.

There was a knock on the door and Ken stood up from the bed again. The door opened and Gaby's voice sounded: 'Ken, I'm so so sorry to bother, but there… eh… are some people here that really want to see you and Felix'.

'That's alright. Just send them in I guess', Ken said before he realised it.

The door opened wider and Michelle, Ryan, Sam, Mark and Jack ran in. Ken braced himself before they all gave him a hug simultaneously while laughing loudly.

'We missed you so much man', Jack said when they let go of each other.

'We didn't believe Gaby when she said you were in here!' Michelle laughed.

'But here you freaking are', Mark said. 'It's good to have you back, Ken, seriously'.

'I missed you guys too', Ken said. 'I'm so sorry for leaving you all in the dark. I wasn't myself when I left, but after that I was too scared to go back. I just couldn't face it'.

He was interrupted about the door opening once again. Everyone turned around to see a woman and a man, both around 50 years old, enter the room with confused looks on their faces. The woman had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes, and the man was tall, balding and had a dark blonde stubble.

Ken instantly knew who they were. 'Fuck', he thought.


	23. Chapter 22: Confrontation

'Excuse me? Who are all of you?' the blonde woman asked with an accent that only confirmed what Ken was fearing. He noticed Brad walking over to him, giving him a look that said he knew what was going on.

'We're friends of Felix', Gaby said. For a moment Ken thought he heard a bitter undertone.

The older gentleman smiled. 'It's nice to finally meet you then! I'm Christian and this is Anna, we're Felix's parents. It's nice to see that he has made good friends'.

Some people in the room said greetings back, but no one seemed very enthusiastic. Ken's heart only started beating faster and faster.

Mr and Mrs Kjellberg seemed to notice too, Ken thought, but they ignored it. They walked towards Felix and Mrs Kjellberg changed the flowers that were in the vase besides the bed with the ones she was holding.

'Urgh, they got those at my parents' flower shop' Sam whispered, who was also standing next to Ken now. 'If I would have been there I would have overcharged them'.

Mrs Kjellberg said something in Swedish to Felix, and caressed his cheek, which made Ken angry for some reason.

'Excuse me, Mr and Mrs Kjellberg?' Gaby said with her most innocent voice. Ken knew she was going to start something, and he didn't want to stop it.

Mrs Kjellberg turned around. 'Yes?'

'I must say I am a bit confused as to why you are here? Could you explain?', Gaby said with that innocent voice again, although the bitter undertone definitely shone through now.

'I beg your pardon?' Mr Kjellberg said confused.

'Well… I remember Felix telling you that he never wanted anything to do with you anymore…', Gaby said, with only anger in her voice now. 'So why are you here? Are you here so you can 'fix' him? Are you here to take him back to Sweden when he wakes up?'

'I don't know what you're talking about!', Mrs Kjellberg exclaimed.

'Oh I think you do', Gaby said. 'About 2 months ago, Felix did something very brave. He told you that he was bisexual, and that he had a boyfriend. And instead of loving Felix for who he was, you told him that he was confused and broken. Also, you made it clear enough how poorly educated and prejudiced you are when it comes to homosexuality, by insulting and scarring Felix's boyfriend, who was also there at the time to support Felix'.

'And what a boyfriend it was', Mr Kjellberg said, almost viciously. 'Running away from all this the first day after he drunkenly risked Felix's life. Yeah, that really is true love'.

Brad took a step forward. 'Do you know why he left? Because he heard that _you_ were coming to visit. And for your information, Ken wasn't drunk. It was the truck driver who was at fault, Ken didn't do anything wrong', he said.

'Exactly', Mark confirmed. 'And you know, Ken is actually in the room with us right now', he said and he looked at Ken briefly. 'Maybe it's time you finally apologise to him', Mark said to Mr and Mrs Kjellberg, who were both looking at Ken with wide-open eyes.

Ken couldn't bring himself to look them in the eyes.

'So you're Kenneth', Mrs Kjellberg said, and Ken thought she heard kindness in her voice, which surprised him.

'Yeah', he said softly. 'Yeah I am', he repeated, louder this time, and he looked at Felix's parents.

'Why did you come back?' Mr Kjellberg just asked.

'Because I had to see him', Ken said shortly, a silence following.

'Look', Ken began. 'I know you're not very… appreciative of my… kind, but I really do love your son, with all my heart. And he loves me too', he said, although he wasn't sure any more about that last part. 'For the past years, I've been living a life in which I have had to forbid myself to _be_ myself. And no offense, truly, but you have no idea what that's like. When I met Felix, I almost immediately felt like he wasn't going to judge me for who I am. And he didn't. And we fell in love with each other. He helped me break out of the prison I had built for myself, but when I talked with you on Skype that evening, for a moment I felt like I was being locked up in it again'.

Ken took a pause. Everyone in the room was quiet, and looking at him.

'But the worst of it all', Ken said. 'Is that you told your own son, your own flesh and blood, that his feelings were fake and wrong. So you owe Felix a far bigger apology than me'.

The entire room was quiet.

'We'd like to be alone with Felix for a while', Mr Kjellberg said softly, breaking the silence. 'The doctors have said that Felix can wake up at any moment, as soon as that happens we would like to hear what he has to say'.

'You can't just-', Gaby began, but Ken cut her off.

'It's fine, Gaby, really'. He gave Mr and Mrs Kjellberg a nod, they gave a nod back, and then Ken walked out the room, the rest following.

'You okay dude?' Mark asked Ken when they were walking down the hallway.

'I'm alright', Ken said, surprising himself because it was true. He felt like he had maybe reached something within Felix's parents. He hoped he had, at least. 'How about you? I've been away for too long…', Ken asked in return.

'Never better', Mark smiled. 'Me and Gaby are official now, how about that?'

'Hey, congrats man!' Ken said and he playfully hit Mark on the shoulder. 'She's a keeper'.

'She sure is', Mark said as he glanced over his shoulder at Gaby, who was talking to Ryan and Michelle. 'Ken…', Mark began. His smile had faded.

'What, Mark?' Ken asked concerned.

'I'm moving in with her next year. We're looking at apartments in Chicago. I know we had initially planned to get a place together, but she asked and you were… I'm sorry man', Mark said.

Ken laughed. 'Dude! Don't sweat it! I'm happy for you, really. We'll keep in touch for sure. And with all the classes I missed, I'm not sure if I can even pass my exams anyway'.

'If you explain to school what happened, I'm sure they can fix something for you', Mark said.

Ken smiled. 'Thanks Mark'.

'Ken!', Jack shouted from behind them. 'Where the heck are we going?'

'Police station!', Ken shouted back. He was nervous, but much more confident than before.

'Whoa whoa', Brad said, who ran towards Ken. 'Shouldn't we think about what we'll say?'

'Let's just tell the truth', Ken said. 'It's not like you kidnapped me or anything, I'm sure they'll understand. And if not, I'll cover for you. It's about time I do something in return'.

Brad smiled. 'There's the confident Ken I was talking about'.

Ken blushed. They entered the police station and Ken immediately walked up to the counter, motivating himself as he was terrified inside. A police woman looked up when he approached.

'How can I help you, sir?' she asked. She didn't seem to recognise Ken at all.

'Hi…uh… I'd like to report a missing person as found', Ken said, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. 'I mean that we found… no, that I was missing, but I'm… back now'.

The woman looked at him rather confused in the beginning, and then she seemed to understand what Ken was talking about. 'Excuse me, you're Kenneth Morrison?'

'Yeah'.

'That's… wonderful!', the woman said, obviously surprised by the situation. 'Could you follow me, please?' she asked and led Ken to a closed door behind the counter.

'I'm sorry miss, but could I take one of my friends with me? He is involved… sort of… in all this', Ken said. He wasn't comfortable explaining everything by himself.

'No problem at all', the woman said, and Ken gestured Brad to follow them.

They entered a hallway and they followed the police officer to another closed door. She knocked on the door and went inside, Brad and Ken following her. What they entered was a large office, and in the middle a man with short black hair was sitting behind a large desk.

'Yes?', he asked without looking up from the computer screen, but he didn't sound unfriendly.

'Sir, uhm, I've got Kenneth Morrison with me', the police officer said.

The man instantaneously looked up and raised an eyebrow. 'You have?' he asked in disbelief, before seeing Ken. 'You have!' he called out and he stood up from his chair. 'Thank you Ingrid, you can leave us', he said kindly.

The police officer left and the man offered Ken and Brad a seat.

'Nice to meet you Kenneth', the man said. 'Who is your friend?'

'My name is Brad, Sir', Brad said before Ken could open his mouth.

'Nice to meet you too, Brad', the man said. 'I am inspector Cortes, I've been in charge of the search for Kenneth for the past month-and-a-half or so'.

'Nice to meet you, Sir', Brad and Ken both said.

'I know you must want to see your parents, Kenneth, but if you don't mind, I would love to hear your story. But again, we can talk later if you want to', inspector Cortes said.

Ken thought about his parents. As much as he wanted to see them, it could wait a little longer. 'Now is fine, Sir', he said.

'Excellent', inspector Cortes said. 'Please start at the very beginning'.


	24. Chapter 23: Nightmares

Ken told everything, from the very beginning when him and Felix stepped into the car that night. Inspector Cortes listened very carefully, making notes every now and then. When Ken was finally finished, it was almost dinner time.

'Well, I'm glad I know the details now', the inspector said, leaning back in his chair. 'I'm sorry to hear that Felix hasn't woken up yet, but I'm sure it won't be long'. His comforting smile suddenly made place for a more serious look. 'Listen, Kenneth. When he wakes up, we also have to bring in Felix for questioning. I believe you and your friends when you say you weren't under any influence that night, but I will have to hear it from Felix too, you understand?'

'Yeah', Ken said truthfully. He knew he hadn't been drunk that night, so he didn't feel scared.

'Excellent', inspector Cortes said smiling. 'I can call your parents for you, and they'll come pick you up. They have been working tirelessly on getting you back, you know'.

Ken looked down, ashamed. 'Thanks, sir'.

'Just go back to the waiting room, you'll see them arrive', the inspector said. 'And Kenneth…', he said when Ken and Brad got up. 'I really hope things work out between you and Felix's parents'.

Ken smiled. 'I hope so too, sir'.

Before they walked out the room it was Brad who said something. 'Uhm… one last thing, sir. Am I not in trouble? You know, for withholding information from the police and stuff…'.

Inspector Cortes chuckled. 'You're fine, Brad. You did what any good friend would have done. You supported Kenneth throughout this difficult chapter of his life and you gave him courage at the right time'.

Brad laughed nervously. 'Great, thanks bro… uh, sir', he said and then he followed Ken to the waiting room, his face red as a tomato.

'Finally, you guys are back', Jack exclaimed when Ken and Brad walked in. 'The others went to get dinner downtown'.

'You stayed here all this time?!' Ken called out. 'Why didn't you go with them?'

Jack shrugged. 'Not hungry, I guess. Besides, I wanted to know how you were feeling'.

Ken smiled at Jack's thoughtfulness. 'I'm feeling great, honestly. Nervous too, my parents are on their way here. I just hope they won't be mad at me', he said.

'You're about to find out, bro', Brad interrupted, who had been standing by the window. 'They just parked their car'.

Ken's stomach twisted. He was feeling happy and anxious at the same time, an odd combination. He turned around when the door slammed open and Mr and Mrs Morrison appeared. As soon as they saw Ken, they both gasped and ran towards him.

Ken was laughing and crying at the same time when they embraced him. He could hear his mother crying as well. His dad kissed his forehead and after a while they let go of him.

'Oh honey…', his mom said and she caressed his cheek.

'I'm so sorry I left you… Without saying anything. I was just so confused and sad and I had no idea what to do', Ken started but his dad cut him off.

'Don't apologise, son. Inspector Cortes roughly told us on the phone what happened. You were overwhelmed, there is nothing to be sorry for', he said. 'We also heard about the trouble with Felix's parents. If you want any help with that, you know we're here, Kenneth'.

'I actually think it might be alright, but I'll keep it in mind', Ken said. 'Could we get some food on the way home? I'm starving'.

'Great idea', Mrs Morrison said. 'You boys can come along too, of course!' she said kindly to Brad and Jack, who smiled back.

On the way home they stopped at Taco Bell to get food, and continued their journey to Ridgeland. They dropped Brad and Jack off at their houses, and 20 minutes later, Ken was home again, for the first time in almost 2 months. It felt like he had been on a long, depressing holiday.

The evening continued like it was any other. Ken had dinner with his parents and afterwards they watched TV. But Ken's thoughts were with Felix most of the time. The past months he had only worried about what Felix was thinking of him. But he only now seemed to realise that Felix was still in a coma, even though he had known all along.

'Hey mom and dad', Ken began. He bit his lip. 'When do you think Felix will wake up?'

'Well, coma's are unpredictable, that's the worst thing', his dad said. 'Though they can tell when a person is able to wake up. They just don't know when that will be'.

'Same goes for Felix', his mom said. 'The doctors are confident that he can wake up anytime, and that he will be healthy once he does, but they can't say anything for certain… I'm sorry Kenneth'.

'That's alright, I'm just glad you're honest', Ken smiled. 'But… how do you know what the doctors said?'

'We went to visit him every week, sometimes twice. We may not have known him for long, but if he means something to you he means something to us', Ken's dad said like it was something every parent would do.

'You seriously are the best parents', Ken said, and the could hear both his parents making 'stop it you'-noises, making him chuckle.

 _Bzzzt._

Text message from Mark.

 _Hey man, sorry we bailed :/ Gaby was hungry haha… You already coming to school tomorrow?_

'Oh yeah, school. That's still a thing', Ken thought to himself. If there was anything that he didn't feel like doing tomorrow, it was going to school.

'Mom, dad, is it ok if I stay home tomorrow?' Ken asked hopefully.

His mom sighed, but sounded slightly amused. 'Well alright then, but just one day'. His dad nodded.

'Thanks', Ken smiled.

 _Gonna stay home a day. And no worries :D_

Ken suddenly felt how incredibly tired he was. When he was with Brad he always got enough sleep, but today's events had been draining. He said good night to his parents and went upstairs to his room. It was still in the same state as he left it in, only the bed was made.

Even though he was tired, Ken had trouble getting to sleep. His mind was struggling with everything that was going on.

'Fuck's sake, calm down Ken', he thought to himself after half an hour of contemplating while staring at the ceiling. 'Just think normally. What are you going to do tomorrow? Should I visit Felix? I'm not sure if his parents want that… But I'm his boyfriend! I have just as much right to see him as they have! Right? Or I could hang with my friends? Or maybe I should relax… Just stay home for a day and play videogames by myself. Like before…'

 _The door on the other side opened, and Felix got in the car next to Ken. Or at least, the Ken that was in the driver's seat. Ken himself was in the back seat, but he couldn't move. Only look._

 _'_ _Darn', the Ken in the front seat suddenly said, and Ken could feel the car's speed dropping. He knew what was going to happen. But he couldn't let it. He had to do something._

 _'_ _No', he whispered, but Felix and the other version of himself didn't seem to hear him. It was like he was there with them in the car, but not really…_

 _'_ _You can make that easily!' Felix said and he felt the car speeding up again. The traffic light was coming closer and closer…_

 _'_ _No!', Ken called out and he tried to move but it was like he was glued to his seat. He could only move his eyes and head. 'No! Please!'_

 _They passed the orange stoplight and Ken still couldn't move, no matter how hard he tried._

 _'_ _Told you', he heard Felix saying from the seat before him._

 _Suddenly a bright light entered Ken's eyes and he looked outside the window. A truck was nearing the car. It was going to impact and they would all die…_

'NOOOOOO!', Ken screamed and he shot up in his bed.

'Calm down, calm down Ken', a familiar female voice whispered.

Ken was disorientated. He had just been in the car… He had to help Felix. Where was he? He blinked a few times and he realised he was in his room, with his mother next to him.

'Mom… I… Felix…', he mumbled. 'We were in the car… I couldn't stop him…'

'Shhhh, it's alright, it's alright', Ken's mom said as she softly pushed him back into his bed. 'Just go to sleep, it'll be fine, I promise'.

Ken still wasn't sure what had happened, but her words comforted him, and he fell asleep.


	25. A FINAL MESSAGE FROM THE WRITER :(

Okay, writer here...

For the people that read my earlier message a few weeks back, you knew this was coming... :( If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. Basically, I announced in it that writing this story was a way of dealing with depression and personal issues that I had at the time. But when those were resolved, and I found myself in a happier place, I lost motivation to continue this story...

I feel so genuinly bad for the people who were enjoying this, and the fact that this story has actually accumulated more than 1200 hits, is very humbling, and makes this extremely difficult to say. But I can't finish it :( I tried multiple times, but I just felt completely detached from it. Below I will describe where I planned to take the story.

*SPOILERS*

I was planning to have Felix wake up when Ken was with him. Ken tells him what happened but Felix doesn't blame him for anything, which Ken feared. Then, Felix's parents arrive and Felix gets mad at them, he hasn't forgotten that he told them he never wanted to see them again. Ken calms Felix down, and when Felix starts crying and Ken soothes him, Felix's parents realise they were wrong and they try to apologise. Felix says he still needs some time, and they understand. Ken stays with Felix as the doctors run some final tests to see if he is completely okay, and after a few days Felix is dismissed from the hospital. Ken convinces Felix to talk to his partens, who haven't left America yet. Felix does, and his parents apologise again, to Ken as well, and Felix accepts. He knows that they mean it, and that they just had to see what Ken and him had, to truly understand. Felix's parents leave for Sweden a few days after that. Then I wanted to do a time skip to the end of the year. Ken and Felix are still together, the youtube channel is steadily growing, and both of them have decided to go to the same college in America. Michelle and Ryan go study art somewhere, and Mark goes to study in canada to be closer to Gaby. So everyone kind of goes seperate ways a bit in the end, but everyone is happy :)

*SPOILERS END*

Again, I'm so terribly sorry for ending it like this, but I didn't see another way... :( Special thanks to LeelaSmall and LittleMissFangirl14 for their continued support, and to everyone else for reading!

For the people who are interested in my other writing, I have an account on ArchiveOfOurOwn where I will post future stories. Atm I'm working on a Hobbit fanfic, if you are interested you can check it here: /works/4560570/chapters/10383354

Goodbye 3


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